When They Sang 'Happy Birthday' I Could Have Sworn It Was To The Tune Of 'The Golden Girls' Theme Song*

I really, truly am not liking the idea of getting older. It hasn't bothered me in the past, but for some reason this birthday has me asking myself deep, probing questions such as, "Where exactly do they TUCK the tummy into? And once the face is LIFTED, how long does it stay ALOFT?" In spite of these nagging questions and the fact that I spent most of Wednesday combing the pages of People magazine looking for celebrities that were older than me, it was a wonderful birthday.

I got lots of birthday calls.

I waited in line for forty-five minutes at the post office. (Hey, wait! That was NOT FUN.)

I got these:


And these:


And these:


When the last one was delivered I tried to make myself feel better by telling the delivery man that now that I was finally 21 I couldn't wait to hook up with my posse, and you know, have a highball or two! Then my girdle snapped and he backed away slowly, an unmistakable look of pity in his eyes.

We went out to dinner that night to a sushi bar that we go to often. Lots of age-defying antioxidants in green tea! Kiyomi pounded down her usual fifty orders of octopus sushi** (she threw some scraps to Rigel and I) and we had to stop Kira from ordering one of everything on the menu. She insisted on getting the calamari with raspberry ponzu sauce which we resisted at first because, hey, isn't calamari Italian and what self-respecting Japanese restaurant would add raspberries to ponzu but it ended up being the Best Calamari. EVER. We applauded Kira on her wise choice as she smiled smugly and wondered how long she would have to put up with our pedestrian tastes.

At the end of the meal we were talking about ordering dessert when all of a sudden the lights went out and the owner had the entire restaurant singing 'Happy Birthday' while the waiters brought out a huge dessert concoction with a candle in it. I wanted to hug everyone in the room and exchange numbers but I remembered one of my New Years resolutions was to be less needy and pathetic and I stopped myself.

And even though I was still dreading the thought of being another year older, I stopped obsessing for a moment about how that cup of sake was already etching its name on my liver or how the light from the candle was so unflattering. I realized that, God willing, I would be spending all my future years with the three people at my table and that there were no better companions for my journey, one that would take me through even more birthdays, life changes and the desperate search for expensive face creams. And I relaxed a little bit, blew out the candle and proceeded to lick my ice cream plate clean.

__________________________________________________________

*What's that you say? Not OLD enough to remember this? Thanks. That makes me feel ALOT better. You can take your young, spry, anorexic Lindsay Lohan ass here to listen to it.

**Eats raw marine life with visible suction cups but won't touch mashed potatoes because they're "ick."

Tweet Pin It