Now this is scary

Here it is, a mere ten days before Thanksgiving and I'm doing a post about Halloween. That means I'll get around to writing about Thanksgiving sometime around Christmas Eve, and then my Christmas post will go up sometime in June, 2010. Luckily you all come here for my excellent stock market tips and not for my punctuality.

As you know, I hate Halloween. I announced it on Facebook, Twittered it and yelled it at passing cars and then it found a way to come back and punish me for my curmudgeonly ways. Not only did I have to spend an eternity (and around five paychecks) getting all the pieces together for Kira's Fran Drescher costume (Kiyomi's was easy, an off-the-shelf McDonald's cup - score!), I somehow found myself hosting a Halloween party for the girls and their friends. It was torture, I tell you, kind of like a vegetarian having to host a steak cook-off or an atheist having to help throw a Christmas party. Oh wait - Rigel does that for me every year! No wonder he's so cranky around the holidays.

As usual, everything was saved for the very last minute. Those pumpkins up there were all carved the afternoon of the 31st and I was buying candy and party food at around 4pm. That meant only the really expensive candy was left - I really hate paying $65 for a bag of mini Prada chocolates. Also, that kind of frenzy leads to impulse buys, which is the reason I came home with goodie bags shaped like skulls, packs of tissue printed with candy corn, small bottles of bubbles with Frankenstein on them and cupcakes decorated with eyeballs. Here, in case you don't believe me:



Take a look at the food spread - I think I did pretty good for someone who hates Halloween. This photo was taken about an hour into the party, after four of the six pizzas we ordered were gone. Shocking, but those teenagers didn't like the strips of red pepper and sliced cucumbers I labored over! Those cupcakes were baked by Kira's friend, Sarah - after she brought hers over I was too embarrassed to put out my store-bought monstrosities with the eyeballs.



Just because I'm such a stick-in-the-mud, though, doesn't mean the rest of the family is. Here's some decorations that Rigel and the girls put up. Also note the 'Spells' table that Kiyomi worked so hard on - those are bottles of 'Invigoration Draught' and 'Love Potion.' In case you're wondering, that skull belonged to a kid from last Halloween who took TWO Laffy Taffies instead of ONE like I told him to.



Okay, I hate to admit - I actually had fun, and if it weren't for the exhausting costume prep I would probably have a much more cheery view of Halloween. So I told the girls that next year they have to come up with something that requires absolutely no buying, or ordering, or alterations, or hovering over wig displays. In other words, they'll be going as the half-Asian, teen and tween daughters of a mom who used to hate Halloween. Happy Thanksgiving!

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tags: halloween | thanksgiving | costumes | fran drescher

Geek Alert: My Five Favorite Gadgets

Disclaimer: Just to be upfront and abide by FTC guidelines for bloggers and all the free merchandise we're hoarding, I want to state that none of the products mentioned below were gifts, but were purchased by either me or Rigel with money originally earmarked for our children's college fund. Well, in the interest of full disclosure I should divulge that I bought the alarm clock with a few dollars I 'borrowed' from Kiyomi's piggy bank, because when you think about it how much cash does an 11-year-old need to keep on hand? Also, none of the companies mentioned have contacted me or exerted any influence over the content of this post, although if Apple wants to send me a new laptop I would gladly give the iPhone a couple more paragraphs, or tattoo their logo on my neck or rename my kids iPod and Mac.

1) iPhone - Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think they'd invent something that could make phone calls, retrieve my email, help me find my way around Disneyland and pick out a restaurant for lunch. Now Rigel is free to do other things, like help me look for my keys.

My favorites apps are Shazam, Tweetie, Flashlight, Recorder and Facebook. Like most iPhone users, I like to bore everyone to tears by showing them all the great features on my phone. Trust me - nothing brings a dinner party to a screeching halt like whipping out your iPhone and telling everyone you're going to use it to guess everyone's weight.

2) Garmin GPS - I never leave home without this. I've been known to get lost backing out of my driveway, so having a little box on my dashboard telling me to, "Exit right, then turn left," in a British accent is a dream come true. Actually, the dream come true would be if I was sitting in the back seat and someone with a British accent was driving me around, but that was an extra $49.95 a month.

But my favorite part about Garmin is how I can punch in 'STARBUCKS' and it leads me straight to my double-tall-nonfat-semi-dry-cappuccino. Before, Rigel and I would pull off the freeway in some unfamiliar town and then spend hours searching everywhere for our caffeine fix. Now when we go on road trips, instead of looking for coffee we can spend our time bickering like most normal couples do.

3) Canon Rebel - This is the first digital SLR I've owned, and not only does it take great pictures it makes me look like I know what I'm doing when I'm clicking that shutter. You may have even mistaken me for a real journalist at events, pushing my way to the front of the crowd yelling things like, "Media!" and "Over here, Octomom!" I really hate it when some know-it-all gets off by pointing out that I still have my lens cap on, though.

But with so many dials and buttons it's definitely trickier to use than my old point n' shoot. Someone suggested to me the other day that I should read the manual, and I was about to give them a piece of my mind but then they told me they were just joking.

4) Keurig Single-Cup Coffee Maker - I have to admit that part of my motivation for buying this was that it was one of the only coffee-making devices I didn't already own. With a drip coffee maker, an espresso machine, a French press and a couple of stove-top espresso pots to my name I guess I unwittingly became one of those crazy collecting people! Next thing you know I'll be wearing a big sweatshirt with 'I ♥ Java' appliqued on it and getting together with other coffee-maker-collectors over at the rec center on Friday nights.

We've stopped buying the individual pods, though, in favor of filling up the optional filter basket with coffee - not only were the pods expensive, but the thought of several landfills being overrun with millions of small, plastic cups with our names on it gave us pause. Now I can sleep at night knowing that my carbon footprint will consist of only several hundred thousand metric tons of used coffee grounds.

5) $6 Target Alarm Clock - I don't have an alarm clock so this unassuming appliance actually sits on Rigel's nightstand, but it's truly the most vital device in our home. Without it, no one would ever get anywhere on time because we all depend on Rigel to wake us all up in the morning, and it's this trusty alarm clock that wakes him up. Sure we could all stop being so lazy, get our own alarm clocks and get ourselves out of bed, but what fun would there be in that?

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tags: favorite gadgets | iphone | garmin gps | keurig coffee maker | canon rebel

Hey look, it's bunnies and glitter!

Last week was a rough one, with all the middle-school insanity and heapings of grief from the internet and I thought there was no way I was going to be able put on my smile pants to talk about bunnies and glitter. But I decided to take a cue from my friend and colleague Tracey and write about something happy here, just to change it up a bit. Take that, haters!

Rigel and I went to a wedding this weekend of one of my oldest and best friends, Melinda. I've known Melinda since one of my very first jobs at a design studio, and even though we float in and out of each others lives I don't feel we're ever far apart. I loved that fact that even on the day of her wedding we were exchanging Facebook messages about the hair-pulling experience that is parenting teens, and also how she perfectly conveyed the excitement!!! and the nervousness!!! of the wedding day!!! with all her exclamation points. In fact, she's got me thinking the key to positive thinking is all in the punctuation.

At the very last minute our babysitting plans fell through and we ended up bringing Kira and Kiyomi with us, and I'm glad we did because it was such a beautiful and touching ceremony and I was happy my girls were there to see it. With all the negativity they're exposed to in this world, I was grateful to have them there to witness something as powerful as the marriage of two people truly in love, and all the support they received from all of their friends and family in the room. (In fact, Kira gave it her best endorsement ever; we dropped her off at her friend's party afterward and when she got home she said, "I had a way better time at the wedding.")

It was a lovely ending to kind of a crappy week, and I felt lifted to be there with the man I love, our amazing kids and good friends. In other words, smile pants - prepare to be worn.

Oh, and another great ending to my week - Kiyomi tried to scare me with this last night:



But ha - the joke's on her! I knew it wasn't real because it didn't even move when I started screaming and trying to smash it with the hair dryer.

Have a great week everyone!!!!!!!!! Bunnies and glitter for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought I was done but maybe I'm not

So I thought I was done, for now at least, with being mad at my daughters' school. There I was, feeling all warm and fuzzy after having that really great talk with the counselor and I thought I could relax, have a glass of sangria or two and spend the weekend thinking about bunnies and glitter.

But then I found out a couple of things in the past twenty-four hours, and now I feel my blood starting to boil again. Apparently at this week's PTA meeting a parent stood up and revealed that one of the administrators has been accused of sexually molesting a girl at the school. I don't know who it is, I don't know the specifics of case - I couldn't attend this week's meeting but I'm hearing this from someone who was there. So that's what I have to go on, but I'm wondering why none of the parents knew about the accusations, about the fact that the police are involved and the person in question has been placed on administrative leave. I don't know protocol in a case like this - perhaps they keep it under wraps to avoid incriminating an innocent person, but I sure would like to know if someone who was accused of this crime was in direct contact with my children, and I'm sure there are alot of other parents who feel the same way.

And then I got a call last night from another mom who read my post on Kira's incident, and called to tell me something she witnessed at Back-to-School night. An administrator, not the same one who cited Kira, went up to a girl who was working as a student volunteer passing out campus maps and chaperoning parents to classrooms, and called her out on a dress-code violation. From what this mom tells me, he did it loudly and aggressively and in front of a group of parents and kids, shouting at her repeatedly to "just go home." She said the girl was upset and stunned as was everyone else.

So this is what I'm thinking, that all of these incidents may be pointing to a pattern of overly aggressive behavior by administrators aimed at the young girls attending this school. That administrators are overstepping boundaries when dealing with these young girls and not following protocol when trying to enforce rules.

That young girls, including my daughters, are being subjected to behavior on the part of some administrators that is demeaning, disrespectful, sexist and maybe in the case of one person, criminal.

And so, sorry everyone, but I don't think I'm done with this yet.

If you've got a camera, a pen and an email address this is your lucky day

DEADLINE EXTENDED! You now have until 11:59pm on Wednesday, October 28 to submit your entries!



First the good news: I'm giving away 4 VIP Passes to Disneyland's Holiday Celebration. This includes a party and all sorts of VIP goodness.

Now the bad news: You'll have to hang out with me all day.

But more good news: It's easy to enter - just take a photo, write a paragraph and email it to me. But hurry - I need your entries by Monday, October 26.

Read all the details and enter here.

My Beef: An Update

Thanks for all of your support and your honesty on Kira's incident at school. All of your thoughts, comments and emails gave me a lot of food for thought, and I think I finally unclenched my teeth at around three o'clock today, just in time to stuff in a doughnut.

I had a long talk with the counselor this afternoon, and he was able to clear up a lot of things and I feel a gazillion times better about the situation. As I mentioned, he's been Kira's counselor since the 6th grade, and is the administrator at the school that knows her the best. I thanked him for being an advocate for her, and in return he said a lot that eased my mind.

In addition, I found out from another source some information about the VP, and it's made me have a better understanding of him as well. I'm not going to talk about it here, but if you want to email me privately (and I know who you are) I'll explain it - it's not something to discuss in this forum. Yes, hard to believe, but there are some things I won't talk about on this blog.

Another thing that made me feel a lot better today? Shocking, but it was chaperoning a field trip for Kira's class, which required a long ride across town with a bus full of eighth graders. The group was headed by the art teacher, and in addition to her art students consisted of the kids from an elective homeroom called the Rainbow Council that Kira's a part of, one that is made up of of students that the teacher hand-picks from the 8th grade. This is a multi-cultural group of kids that work on charity projects like delivering food and clothing to the homeless and working in soup kitchens. Their slogan is, “We are a human spectrum of color, wisdom, understanding, and acceptance, dedicated to making this world a better place on our campus and in our world.” This is what I talked about with the teacher practically the entire bus ride, and who couldn't feel better after a conversation like that? It was like a chapter out of Chicken Soup For The Angry Parent's Soul.

I'm still ready to rail about the dress code, though, and as one commenter suggested the school site council would be a good platform for that. Also, I'm thinking of starting a Don't Judge Me By The Width Of My Straps movement - I'll make sure and send you a sign-up sheet and a refrigerator magnet.

Oh, and until then - I've bought Kira an entire wardrobe of Amish clothing she's going to wear until graduation.

An Open Letter to the Los Angeles Unified School District

Please read my update on the situation: My Beef: An Update

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Dear LAUSD,

For years I've been reading about looming teacher layoffs, failing schools and low parental-involvement in the Los Angeles Unified School District. (Not to mention stories like this, about an LAUSD teacher being paid $68,000 not to show up for work! Which led me to inquire about applying for his job.)

Yet, from the time my children, now 11 and 13, were old enough to attend school I've been a huge proponent of our district, and public schools in general. I've served as PTA president, organized fundraisers (my family has enough wrapping paper to last them through Christmas, 2016), helped out in classrooms, donated money, chaperoned field trips and baked countless numbers of cupcakes for bake sales (okay, I confess - some of them were store-bought.) I'm not alone - there are many parents like me, striving to contribute in hopes that our efforts will, in some way, make our schools a better place for our children and our teachers.

And for the most part, it's worked. My daughters are honor students and are now attending our local public middle school and have, in my opinion, made valuable contributions to their school communities.

And then something like this happens, that makes me want to throw in the whole public-school-towel and make a mad dash for the nearest private or religious school. Ugly uniforms? Mean nuns? Probably preferable to what my kid had to go through today.

It started when my 8th grade daughter (at a school I won't name here but would be glad to divulge to anyone who asks), was talking with one of her teachers in the hallway and got 'dress coded,' and not in the nicest way, by the vice principal. Despite her apologies and even an appeal by the teacher present who tried to intervene on my daughter's behalf who said what a great student and a nice kid she was, the VP insisted she be cited.

For the record, this is what my daughter was wearing, on this 90° day. I understand spaghetti straps, or any strap narrower than 2-inches, are not allowed. But really - since she offered to put on her jacket wouldn't that have sufficed? And can I see the studies that show a correlation between strap-width and academic achievement and character? Are SPAGHETTI STRAPS REALLY THE PORTAL TO PROMISCUITY AND DEPRAVITY?



My daughter walked crying to see her counselor, who was apologetic, saying he knew how unfair it was but alluding to the fact that he had to 'listen to his boss.' He told her he 'entered it into her record' and gave her a notice to be signed by her parents. He told her to come back and see him later to prove that she had covered up by wearing her jacket. (Again, did I mention 90° day?)

During lunch my daughter approached the counselor to show him she had covered up, and the VP found it necessary to once again chide her for violating dress code and asked the counselor to notify her parents by phone. The counselor replied that he knew my daughter and that a signed notice would suffice. When the VP still tried to insist on a phone call the counselor prevailed and thank goodness because who knows what punishment the VP was planning on meting out? Ten years of hard labor? A public lashing with a rolled-up tank top?

I get it - rules are necessary - but where does common sense and discretion come into play? Is spending this much time dealing with an honor student's strap-width violation really the best use of this administrator's time? How about busting the boys who have a locker near my daughter, who stand around and flip through Playboy magazine and then make lewd comments to girls passing by? (Yes, that's a true story.)

And don't get me started on the countless girls who I see wearing things far far worse than what my daughter was cited for today. Let's just say they'd make Hugh Hefner blush.

And why did this administrator find it necessary to subject my daughter to his needling twice, even in the face of both a teacher and a counselor speaking out on her behalf? Was this out of some need on his part to shame her? And why the insistence that the parents be notified by phone, in light of the fact that my daughter's counselor who has known my daughter for the past three years and knows her immaculate record, felt it was unnecessary?

Can I introduce another visual here? It's my daughter's last report card that I wanted to shaare, if for the only reason to show how overwhelmingly proud we are of her, even though some adults might treat her like crap. Oh, and to show how her grades kick ass:


I can think of so many ways he could have handled this differently. How about speaking to her quietly and giving her a warning? How about stopping himself before he talked to her the second time, knowing that the problem had been handled and she was contrite? How about stopping to consider that maybe his time as an educator, a supposed advocate for children, could be used in a more valuable way?

And wait there's more! After my daughter came home and told me this whole sordid tale through tears, I called this vice principal and he was rude and dismissive and repeatedly interrupted me. Is this how administrators are supposed to treat parents, to make them feel that intervening on their child's behalf is the wrong thing to do? And when I asked why some kids were allowed to violate the dress code while others, like my daughter, weren't, his reply was something to the effect of, "I don't have time to police all the kids." I guess zero-tolerance only applies to an unlucky few. How fair is this?

I'm not sure what message the VP was hoping to get across, but it has backfired tenfold. My daughter sees this person as a man to be feared now, and certainly not as someone who is on her side or who is encouraging her success. It has left me angry and bitter at a system that is supposed to work for our kids, not against them. It's sent the message to me and my daughter that good behavior and hard work are not rewarded at this school.

It sends the message to parents everywhere that the problems of the LAUSD may lie in administrators who abuse their power and refuse to get to know our children and who fail to act in in their best interests. And sadly, those are problems that aren't going to go away, no matter how hard we work with our kids or how much wrapping paper we sell.

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tags: lausd | los angeles unified school district | lausd dress code | spaghetti straps and other signs of the apocalypse

I interviewed Jennifer Love Hewitt in my pajamas

I interviewed Jennifer Love Hewitt for the new issue of Genlux magazine. We were supposed to meet for lunch one day last month, but after going back and forth with her publicist for a few days and trying to fit it into Jennifer's crowded schedule, it was decided that it would be easier to do the interview over the phone. I actually like it better this way, since it doesn't require me to brush my hair, or put on clothes or any of those other time-wasting, totally unnecessary tasks. Also, there's no chance of me pulling my iPhone out of my purse during an interview and finding a granola bar stuck to it, or getting the urge to wrap up all of Mischa Barton's shrimp dumplings and take them home with me because she hadn't touched any of them.

So while it would have been nice to hang out with J-Love in a fancy restaurant and sip some wine while we chatted over a nice bread basket and a plate of expensive cheese, I got to interview her from the comfort of my own home. While wearing my pajamas. With unbrushed hair. If that image doesn't just scream 'professional journalist' I don't know what does.

I interviewed her while she was on the set of the Ghost Whisperer and she was as nice as you would imagine her to be; she started of by apologizing for not being able to meet in person and thanked me for working around her schedule. In turn I think I said something crazy like, "It's better this way because then I won't try and wrap up your dumplings." In a related story, I don't understand why I'm not getting more paying jobs.

My favorite part of the interview was when, after rattling off some of her favorite designers (Marc Jacobs, Narisco Rodriguez, Christian Louboutin) she admitted that lately she's being doing most of her shopping at...Forever 21. At that moment I thought, 'Now here's a girl I can hang out with!' I wonder if she ever goes anywhere without brushing her hair. Probably not.

You can read the entire article here. Try not to spoil it by imagining me in my pajamas.
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tags: jennifer love hewitt | genlux magazine | the ghost whisperer

Hey Look - a Giveaway! Disney Interactive Party: I Came, I Saw, I Brought Home Gift Bags

I'm giving away a Disney Interactive Studios swag bag filled with some cool stuff. Head on over to my reviews blog, Views From The Pants, and leave a comment. You can also enter by leaving a comment on the Sweatpantsmom Facebook fan page. Alternately, you can come to my house and bring me some cookies, and that will count as an entry as well. JUST KIDDING ABOUT THAT LAST ONE. I'll only do that for brownies.

She's With The Band, Part I: Beg and Ye Shall Receive

On Sunday Rigel took Kira to a concert, something that's become part of a regular routine. It always starts off the same way - She sits down at her computer, lets out a piercing scream because one of her favorite bands has posted their tour dates, immediately IMs and texts two hundred of her closest friends and then spends the next few weeks begging and pleading for one of us to take her to the concert. Most of the time it's Rigel she grovels to the most since she knows he usually can't resist getting out to see live music anyway, the same way she knows she can get me to take her to Target if she tells me they're having a two-for-one sale on beef jerky.

(Although I did take her to this a couple of weekends ago, an event that proved to be so traumatic for me that I haven't been able to write about it yet, the event that resulted in Kira proclaiming that day "The best freakin' day of my entire life" while at the same time made me wonder if I was fit to be a parent. Trust me - you'd feel the same way if you just let your 13-year-old loose in a room with a bunch of drunk twenty-somethings squirting paint on each other's nipples.)

There was no way in hell my parents would ever have taken me to a concert when I was a teenager. Of course, I was the youngest of five kids, so by the time I came along I'm surprised they even had the energy to feed me, let alone schlep me to a concert. I do remember winning a pair of KISS tickets on the radio when I was 14 and my dad, who was usually so protective, dropped me and friend off at Anaheim stadium to fend for ourselves, paying no attention to the legions of potentially dangerous adult men walking around wearing full face makeup and thigh-high boots.

The concert this weekend was a pretty tame event, an indie rocker named Ladyhawke that Kira likes. She was playing a free gig in front of the Urban Outfitters store across from Amoeba Records on Sunset Boulevard. It really was the ultimate afternoon for Kira - a concert with one of her favorite artists, coupled with the prospect of shopping at two of her favorite stores. Live music, vintage vinyl and spandex leggings all in the same day - the only way it could have gotten any better is if there was a mosh pit made up entirely of the cast from Gossip Girl.

As is typical with Kira she got to meet Ladyhawke herself, having positioned herself at just the right spot in front of a stage door. She has a knack for that, and I'm starting to think that her ability to push herself to the front of any stage, or talk a photographer into letting her slip into a restricted area of a club may be a skill that will get her far in life, or at least maybe get her mom a spot at the front of the crowd at the next Barneys sale.

But really, we're grateful she's found something she's so passionate about and we're happy to support it. She's a good kid, a straight-A student and she doesn't ask for much else. And besides, we tell ourselves there are worse things she could be dragging us to, like an ultimate cage fighting event or heaven forbid - a KISS concert.

Oh, but don't just take my word for it - go read Kira's version of her day at her blog, Metronome (Didn't you just figure that my kid would have her own blog?)

Up Next: She's With The Band, Part II: What's a nice girl like Kira doing at a club called The Smell?

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tags: ladyhawke | teens + music | my indie girl