I interviewed Nikki Sixx and Kelly Gray while I was totally wired but not in a good way

My interview with Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx and his partner Kelly Gray is in the current issue of Genlux magazine. Gray, the daughter of the St. Johns Knits founders, and Sixx teamed up to start Royal Underground, an incredibly badass line of clothing that is the favorite of rock n' roll royalty. I asked them if a writer mom with two kids could rock a little Royal Underground, and Sixx just laughed and said that, speaking as a father of four, no matter what we wear our kids will never think we're cool. Well, mister, obviously you've never seen my bedazzled mom jeans and studded fanny pack.

I interviewed them over the phone, and coincidentally later that day a friend called to tell me she had a phone interview coming up and was wondering what high-tech equipment I used to talk to all these high-falutin' celebrities. I told her to come over and check it out, but that if she was expecting something out of Mission Impossible she was going to be disappointed because my desk looks like it belongs to a high school science nerd circa 1970. All that's missing is a can of Cactus Cooler and a tube of Clearasil. Okay maybe just the Cactus Cooler.

Last year I went to Radio Shack and bought a small tape recorder that is used specifically for recording calls off the phone. Sounds shady, I know, and I think the clerk even mumbled something about only previously selling them to middle-aged men with shifty eyes. Then, because I always like to have an additional recording source as backup, recently the friendly clerk at Radio Shack (who I'm now on a first-name basis with and is probably going to ask me to adopt him), suggested a recording earphone. One end plugs into the recorder and the other end has a small device that you put in whichever ear you would put the phone receiver up to.

I know you're starting to get an unbelievably sexy mental image of me right now. Hold on, let me put on my retainer.

Anyway, by the time I'm ready to do a phone interview, I've got enough wires running in and around me that I'm almost afraid to take a sip of my coffee because I think that a spilled drop will set off an electrical fire. I imagine Rigel and the girls finding my body, burned to a crisp in my office chair and the only way they'll know for sure it's me is by the piece of metal with the Radio Shack logo embedded in my corpse.

But don't let this nerdy scenario scare you away from reading the interview. Both Sixx and Gray were really funny and smart and real, and I have a feeling that even if they could see me on the other end of the phone wrapped in my fifty cords and wires they wouldn't judge me. Especially if they saw my fanny pack with the Mötley Crüe logo on it.


Click here to read the text.

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tags: royal underground | genlux magazine | nikki sixx | kelly gray | motley crue

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Girlfriends

My Genlux interview with actress April Bowlby is on the newsstands now. In case you don't know who she is, she's currently starring with Margaret Cho in Lifetime's Drop Dead Diva. But maybe you'll recognize her as Jon Cryer's girlfriend/wife on Two and a Half Men and Neil Patrick Harris' girlfriend on How I Met Your Mother. If you met her you'd want her to be your girlfriend, too.

This was one of my favorite interviews I've done. She was sweet, funny and genuinely nice and what started out as a 45-minute lunch turned into an almost three-hour afternoon. After it was done I wanted to be best friends with April and invite her over so we could talk about boys and give each other fake tattoos with Sharpies. That didn't happen but we did become friends on Facebook, the adult equivalent of someday possibly maybe planning to hang out at Dairy Queen after school.


You can read the interview and see all the photos here.

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tags: april bowlby | genlux magazine | drop dead diva | two and a half men | how i met your mother

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The Book of Mila Kunis

My interview with actress Mila Kunis is in the current issue of Genlux magazine. When I told people I was going to interview her the question I got most often was, "Who is Mila Kunis?" and "Does this mean you'll be able to pay me back the $20 you owe me?" To answer the first question, Mila currently stars in The Book of Eli with Denzel Washington but you might know her from That 70's Show and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The answer to the second question is, "No, and as your mother I'm deeply offended."

I've never had an interview subject get upset by any questions I've asked -- I thought for sure Kim Kardashian would bolt when I brought up O.J. Simpson but she was open and candid about the whole thing -- but Mila got pretty agitated when I brought up something about her I had found online. It involved her audition for "That '70s Show," and was a story about how she had lied about her age. All audition participants were required to be 18 years old, but Mila was only 14 and told producers she was going to be 18 "on her birthday," not specifying which birthday. She got the part despite having misled them, and her creativity in gaining the audition was said to have factored in to her being cast.

Personally, I thought it was a pretty awesome story and was thinking to myself how I was going to start telling people that I turned 30 "on my birthday."

Well, when I brought this up let's just say Mila wasn't congratulating me on my fine internet research skills. She said, "Alright, look -- I'm putting an end to this story right now!" and proceeded to tell me how sick she was of hearing it, what an old story it was and how she's been asked it for years and how she wished I was dead.

Okay, I made up that last part, but she was pretty hoppin' mad and my habit of beating a dead horse didn't help any when I then asked her, "So, is it true?" She kind of breathed a is-this-freaking-interview-over-yet sigh and then she said, "I didn't say it wasn't true." I finally left it at that because who needs Mila Kunis pissed at you? Not me.

I did find out she shops at Target and likes to sleep in, though, which makes her alright in my book.


You can read the interview and see all the awesome photos here.

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tags: mila kunis | genlux magazine | the book of eli

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I interviewed Jennifer Love Hewitt in my pajamas

I interviewed Jennifer Love Hewitt for the new issue of Genlux magazine. We were supposed to meet for lunch one day last month, but after going back and forth with her publicist for a few days and trying to fit it into Jennifer's crowded schedule, it was decided that it would be easier to do the interview over the phone. I actually like it better this way, since it doesn't require me to brush my hair, or put on clothes or any of those other time-wasting, totally unnecessary tasks. Also, there's no chance of me pulling my iPhone out of my purse during an interview and finding a granola bar stuck to it, or getting the urge to wrap up all of Mischa Barton's shrimp dumplings and take them home with me because she hadn't touched any of them.

So while it would have been nice to hang out with J-Love in a fancy restaurant and sip some wine while we chatted over a nice bread basket and a plate of expensive cheese, I got to interview her from the comfort of my own home. While wearing my pajamas. With unbrushed hair. If that image doesn't just scream 'professional journalist' I don't know what does.

I interviewed her while she was on the set of the Ghost Whisperer and she was as nice as you would imagine her to be; she started of by apologizing for not being able to meet in person and thanked me for working around her schedule. In turn I think I said something crazy like, "It's better this way because then I won't try and wrap up your dumplings." In a related story, I don't understand why I'm not getting more paying jobs.

My favorite part of the interview was when, after rattling off some of her favorite designers (Marc Jacobs, Narisco Rodriguez, Christian Louboutin) she admitted that lately she's being doing most of her shopping at...Forever 21. At that moment I thought, 'Now here's a girl I can hang out with!' I wonder if she ever goes anywhere without brushing her hair. Probably not.

You can read the entire article here. Try not to spoil it by imagining me in my pajamas.
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tags: jennifer love hewitt | genlux magazine | the ghost whisperer

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Here's one of those posts where I try and make my life look interesting

I'm going to write one of those entries that condenses the events of the past few weeks or so into a few short, neat paragraphs. This makes my life look way more interesting than it is because it's action-packed and gives the impression that I'm doing something other than updating my Facebook profile every five minutes. You may even say to yourself, "Holy crap that Sweatpantsmom has got an interesting life!" which is what I say to myself to keep myself from crying while I'm scrubbing the toilet bowl.

HOW TO LET A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD DOWN EASY

Kira recently got asked out on her first date. I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating only because I didn't get to explain how the boy asked her out which is so - for lack of a better word - cute. Apparently he found out who sat next to Kira in math and texted that girl during class and asked her to ask Kira out for him. I told you it was cute.

Then, when the girl relayed the message and Kira said 'no,' he told the girl that now he felt like an ass and to tell Kira he was just kidding. I don't think he meant for the girl to relay the 'ass' part of the message but she did, and when Kira told me this story I immediately felt sorry for the poor guy. I asked her if she was at least nice when she turned down, and she said she told the girl to tell him, "I'm too young to date." Is that brilliant or what? She had already learned to let the guy down easy with the teen version of, "It's not you, it's me."

I KEPT UP WITH A KARDASHIAN

A couple of weeks ago I interviewed Kim Kardashian for Genlux magazine. She showed up without any makeup and was still beautiful, and the best part was that she ate like a real person, because I have this thing about not trusting anyone who doesn't eat. You'll have to read the article when it comes out to see what she ordered, but let's just say for once I didn't feel lonely while chowing down on my fried chicken.

Also, she talked about O.J. Simpson (her dad Robert was O.J.'s best friend and also part of his defense team) which was really intriguing, and surprising since I wasn't sure if she would be willing to divulge anything about it. When I was telling Rigel about it Kira overheard and said, "What? You talked about orange juice?" I told her she certainly wouldn't get asked out on any more text dates with that kind of sarcasm.

STEP ASIDE KATIE COURIC

We were invited to a Lunchables event and Kiyomi got to interview Shawn Johnson, the Olympic gold medalist and Dancing With The Stars finalist. I think she did a good job, considering the kid is only ten and this was her first interview. (I'm talking about Kiyomi, not Shawn.) When we got to the event Kiyomi was pretty nervous, but she walked right up to a Los Angeles Times reporter and started chatting him up and pretty soon he was divulging what kind of Lunchables he liked best. I think this kid's going to go far - imagine if that was Charlie Sheen and he was talking about hookers. CLICK HERE to see Kiyomi's interview with Shawn.


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tags: kim kardashian | shawn johnson | dancing with the stars | teens & dating

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I don't mind if you just look at the pictures

The current issue of Genlux magazine with my interview with Mischa Barton is on the newsstands. I just want to take this opportunity to say what an awesome experience it's been working with Genlux - such an incredibly talented group of people, putting out an extraordinarily beautiful magazine that I would certainly buy even if I didn't get mine for free. Of course, then I might not be able to afford my weekly People, and who knows how long I'd last without being able to read about Tori Spelling's liposuction.

The spread is based on the 60's British movie Blow-Up, and is shot by renowned photographer Marc Baptiste. Even if you don't read the article, you should check out the photographs which are amazing. Then, when you get tired of looking at Mischa's legs that go on forever or the smooth, nicely toned abs on all the half-naked men, you can drift on over and read my interview.

You can see the pictures and the article here.

Me, I've already read it and am moving on to this week's People - I hear there's an in-depth interview with the middle Jonas brother.

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tags: mischa barton | genlux magazine

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Mischa Barton doesn't feel my pain

A few weeks ago I interviewed Mischa Barton, and for those of you whose first question when I mentioned I'd be having lunch with her was, "Is she anorexic?" the answer is, no. And for the others whose first question was, "Couldn't they find a professional to do the interview?" the answer is again, no, and believe it or not some people actually find my nervous laugh and occasional drooling charming.

There's been a lot of media speculation about her weight, especially since she's been cast in Ashton Kutcher's new series and they've told her to put on a few pounds for the role, but I can tell you the girl is not deathly thin as some of the tabloids will have you believe. She ate almost none of the dumplings and yams she ordered, but then again maybe I made her nervous by saying things like, "Did you know yams are full of carbs?" and then grabbing her stomach with my fat caliper I just happened to have in my purse.

The interview was originally scheduled for 4pm on a Monday, and that Sunday before I spent literally half the day trying to line up someone to watch my girls after school for a few hours. After coming up empty handed, Rigel and I finally resorted to our last-choice scenario: we'd leave them home alone, and I lined up two different neighbors, who were going to be in and out with various obligations of their own, to check in on them at half-hour intervals. The planning and coordinating was exhausting - Rigel thought my Powerpoint presentation I sent out showing schedules and emergency procedures was a little much - but I didn't want to leave anything to chance.

I say last-choice scenario because the whole thing didn't feel right to me. Kira's thirteen in a couple of months and Kiyomi is a mature ten, but I still struggle with leaving them home alone. People have mentioned that thirteen is the age when some teens are hired as babysitters, but personally I can't imagine paying someone to watch my kids who would show up in a Hannah Montana t-shirt and might actually be tempted to steal their Pokemon cards. Sure I've left them alone while I've run to the grocery store, but that was only for 45 minutes and I was less than a mile away. This time I'd be at a swanky restaurant on the other side of town, hanging out with a celebrity and having a free lunch and a nice glass of wine. (Wow - as I typed that last line? I almost forgot I had kids.)

Rigel, on the other hand, didn't see any problem with leaving them alone, and here's where we differ: while he was pointing out how responsible our girls were, and how we didn't have to worry about them getting in trouble - that was the farthest thing from my mind. I didn't think for a minute that they would set the couch on fire, or spray paint the cat, or chug our good vodka through a funnel. No, what I was worried about was the axe murderer that could pry open the patio doors with his five-foot scythe, or the perv who'd been casing our house and was waiting to gain entry by showing Kiyomi a picture of his 'lost kitten.' You laugh, but if you'll remember I nearly called the bomb squad when my laptop battery arrived in an unmarked envelope.

To my relief, I was saved by a friend who had her afternoon freed up and agreed to keep both girls over at her house. But wouldn't you know it - after waiting at the restaurant for 45 minutes that day, her publicist called to say Mischa's dog had to be rushed to the vet with a slipped disc, and we had to reschedule the interview. When I finally did meet with her the next day, I thought about how she had no idea what I had gone through to get there. Not that a 23-year-old should care about my child care woes, but I had the urge to wave a craggy finger in her direction and lecture her on how she'd be old like me some day, worrying about bad people climbing in her windows and stealing her children. Life isn't just pilates classes and glamorous photo shoots and hanging out with Ashton Kutcher at the Ivy. Yeah, I'd show her alright.

But I'm still conflicted with whether or not I should start leaving my girls home alone. What's the correct age? Am I being too paranoid? Is Kiyomi right, and they could fight off an intruder with their hairbrush and a Wii remote? Should I follow through with my plan not to leave them alone until they're 25? Is there really a convict on the loose with a hook instead of a hand?

(Comments from axe murderers or perverts will be deleted immediately.)

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tags: mischa barton | genlux magazine | hey who's watching my kids

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I can get you a copy for free if you want one

This is old news now, but the interview I did with Paz Vega for Genlux way back when is on the newsstands now. In fact, it's been on the newsstands for awhile - it's probably been pushed to the back of the rack to make room for the five-thousand magazines that have cover stories on that woman who had eight babies and already has something like fifty other kids at home.

This interview stands out for me in that it was the only one I was late for. Usually I like to get to the restaurant at least twenty minutes beforehand so I can test out my tape recorders, have a sip of wine and stuff myself with bread so that I can pretend to be a dainty eater once the interviewee gets there. Then I'll order a salad, or some sort of dish that consists of a coin-sized piece of fish and a couple of strings of spinach, and then pick at it for a few minutes before I go, "Oh, I'm so full. You know, I haven't eaten that much since I was 12."

But this time it was a crazy day, and I ended up flying into the restaurant around 15 minutes behind schedule. Paz was already seated, so I introduced myself, clunked my behemoth, 95-pound purse down and proceeded to set up for the interview. Unfortunately one of the first things I did was pull my iPhone out of my purse, but not before I noticed that there was a huge hunk of half-eaten Cliff Bar clinging to the bottom. I'm not sure, but I hear that's the sure way to show you're a professional journalist - pull out an electronic device that has a large piece of half-eaten foot affixed to it. It sort of says, "I'm so busy and on the road, I have to text and snack at the same time."

One of my favorite parts of the interview is where she talks about her dad being a bullfighter. I could tell it was something she was really passionate about, but I was a little worried about putting it in my final piece - I envisioned some animal-rights peoples showing up at the Genlux offices and smearing their door with bull blood, or worse yet showing up at my house and yanking my hamburger right out of my hand. But kudos to the editors for keeping it in the interview - I just wish they had kept the part in where I explain how I took that hunk of Cliff Bar and, without wrapping it, slipped it right back into my purse.

You can read the entire article here, once you've finished reading all those other magazine articles about the octuplets.

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tags: paz vega | genlux magazine | spanglish

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What my interview with Paris Hilton has to do with tomorrow's election

A few weeks ago I interviewed Paris Hilton for Genlux magazine. The issue is now out on the newsstands, and it seems a quote from my article is making its way around the blogosphere - even Perez Hilton used it. I'm thinking of sending him a bill for $10,000 or at least making him send me one of his Gossip Gangster hoodies.

The quote comes at the very end of the article, and was in response to me asking whether or not it was true that Paris had booked a seat on Richard Branson's Virgin Enterprise Rocket, which is set to blast into space in 2009. Her answer was:

"With the whole light-years thing, what if I come back ten-thousand years later and everyone I know is dead? I'll be like, "Great. Now I have to start all over."

To her credit, the response was given with a wink, but the quote is being used as just another example of her ditziness. But I'm sure Paris doesn't care - as she's said before, she's laughing all the way to the bank. After all, this is a woman who makes six-figures just by getting occasionally photographed without her panties on, something most of us do for free.

While the idea of a rocket ship ride into space didn't seem appealing at first, I have to say after considering Paris' words I might be willing to cough up a few grand to take that ride. If the election doesn't go the way I'd like tomorrow, packing up the family, blasting off into the cosmos and returning ten-thousand years later may be the only thing left to do.

You can read the article here. I'm pretty excited, as I'm thinking it's probably the only time my words will ever be on the same page as a dress that costs $16,000.

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tags: paris hilton | genlux magazine | paris hilton richard branson virgin enterprise

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Nicer Than Some People

Last week I interviewed Paris Hilton for Genlux magazine. I know that what I'm about to say will cause some of you to leave me mean comments, or take me off your blogroll, or send me text messages that say 'Sellout!' (And that's just from my mother.)

So here goes.

I actually liked her.

(Okay, now I know at least one of you will leave a bag of flaming dog poop on my doorstep, to which I say, bring it on - our cat has taken a crap twice on our bed, so don't think I can't handle some poop packaged neatly in a bag.)

I admit I used to roll my eyes occasionally when I heard her name, and even cringed a little when I heard I'd be interviewing her. But I have to say she was actually one of the nicest, and most gracious people I've ever met. Nicer than most celebrities I've met. Hell, nicer than some non-celebrities I've met. Certainly nicer than most non-celebrities I've met in Trader Joes.

I can't divulge much of our interview until the issue comes out, but she did surprise me with her sense of humor, her business smarts and her take on politics. Some of it made it into the interview, and some didn't. Some of it, like her political views, were said off the record and she asked (very nicely) that it not be included in the interview. I'm going to save the tape, though, in case she is ever asked to be the Vice Presidential nominee and then that thing is going straight over to the National Enquirer to help pay for my new kitchen.

We met on the rooftop of this new hotel in Beverly Hills. They have a private bar up there with cabanas, and apparently Paris likes to hang out there. A few days prior to the interview I was told we'd be meeting at Paris' house, which I'm glad didn't happen - I've never set foot in a celebrity's home, and I'm not sure I'd know how to act. I think the urge to steal something would be too great - surely she wouldn't miss these two nice diamond encrusted urns, or this rack of Chanel dresses? And then I'd have to take some pictures of myself when she wasn't looking, maybe lounging in her bathtub pretending to soap myself down with my tape recorder.

There were two interviews before me, and Paris was running late. One of her assistants was already there and told us to order whatever we wanted to eat and drink from the bar, so we did. Which was preferable to what I would have been doing, which is selling after-school snacks on the playground at Kiyomi's school. Call me shallow, but I think I totally deserved that nice glass of chardonnay and those curried tuna rolls after years of hawking juice boxes and Cheez-Its to grade-schoolers in the hot sun.

Paris arrived, surprisingly without an entourage and with only her manager. She apologized to everyone for being late, then got down to business, blazing through two interviews (one with AP and one with Reuters) and a photo shoot in the span of around an hour. I had the most time for my interview, around 90 minutes, during which time she only stopped once to take a phone call from her sister Nicky. I, on the other hand, had to pause around five times to check my tape recorders since I'm always convinced I'm going to get home and there'll be nothing on there but static. Or, that one of them will fail and then the recorder that contains the only good recording will fall underneath my tire as I'm fumbling for my keys and then my car will accidentally shift into gear and roll over it. It's really exhausting, this whole paranoia thing.

After the whole thing was over she gave me a hug, posed for a picture on my iPhone and then asked if she could write a little note to each of my girls, which she did. I decided to hang out there for awhile, have an espresso and really milk this whole celebrity-on-a-rooftop vibe, even though I had to pay for that coffee myself. Oh, and I checked those tape recorders one more time.

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tags: paris hilton | genlux magazine

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Dita Von Teese and a Side of Brussel Sprouts

A few weeks ago I interviewed Dita Von Teese for the current issue of Genlux magazine. In case you aren't familiar with her, she's the burlesque dancer, pinup model and actress who has been the face of M•A•C Cosmetics for the past couple of years, and the designer of the next line of lingerie coming out from Wonderbra.

Oh yeah - and she used to be married to Marilyn Manson.

Unfortunately she wouldn't talk at all about Manson, wouldn't spill even one tiny tidbit for me to put into my interview. Although, off the record she did say that she didn't think it was him in this video. And I was kind of hoping the guy had actually gone bald.

I have to say it was one of the most enjoyable interviews I've done, and it would have been even if the magazine hadn't paid for an extremely nice lunch in a trendy upscale restaurant where I got to have a very expensive glass of wine. Von Teese was totally down to earth, candid, funny and pretty open about talking about all aspects of her life. Never mind the fact that she parties with Christian Loubitin (who regularly sends her shoes), hung out with Paolo Coelho at Cannes and can walk into Chanel and pick out whatever she wants - I felt like I was just hanging out chatting with one of my girlfriends. That is, if one of my girlfriends made $160,ooo for a single dance performance at a party in Russia.

While ordering our meal, we discovered we both dug brussels sprouts and decided to share a plate. I'm not lying when I say that that was the highlight of my month, sharing an order of cabbage-like vegetables with the Queen of Burlesque.

Hey, calm down - of course I don't expect you spend your hard-earned cash just to read my piddling words. You can read them here for free.

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tags: dita von teese | genlux magazine | dita von teese marilyn manson

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Kind Of Like Taking A Picture Of Your First Bra, Only Worse

I was in the magazine section of Barnes and Noble the other day, and saw the current issue of Genlux, the one that has my interview with Jessica Alba in it. I got so excited I took out my iPhone, gave Kira my double-tall-dry- soy-cappuccino to hold, and took a picture.

So nerdy, I know.

Look closely, and you'll see that the cover of Cosmo that's next to it says, "SEX POLL! 30, 570 Dudes Tell What They're Dying For You To Do In Bed!"

Which one would you buy?

I think I know the answer, so you can go read my interview here for free.

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tags: jessica alba | genlux | coffee drinks gone mad

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'My Interview With Alicia Witt', or 'Why I Cringe At The Sound Of My Voice'

The spring issue of Genlux magazine is on the newsstands, and my interview with Alicia Witt (88 Minutes) is the cover story. Which is exciting because the photos are beautiful, but honestly, my interview pales in comparison. (Although, in my defense they did change a word here and there.) And holy crap - my byline is like 90-point type, so there's no pretending I didn't do it.

Why is it that sometimes seeing your own words in print is as painful as hearing your own voice on tape? There you are, thinking you sound like Lauren Bacall or Angelina Jolie, but instead what comes back at you from that speaker sounds like Fran Drescher being strangled. While gargling. Inside a tin can.

For some reason I'm thinking everyone reading this interview is going to picture me as a three-foot-tall, pear-shaped housewife wearing mom-jeans and a newsboy cap.

Which, for the record, I'm not. I'm wearing a fedora.







(Click here to read text. You know, only if you want to.)

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tags: alicia witt | 88 minutes | al pacino

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