Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The Artist Formerly Known As Relevant.

I remember when I first heard Prince on the radio. It was his first single, "I Wanna Be Your Lover," and I think I yelled out an enthusiastic "Me too!" and rushed out to buy his album. (Yes, it was vinyl. Yes, I'm old. If you must know, I remember buying it with the money I made from selling those wooly mammoth skins I had stored in my cave.) I didn't really care that he looked like he had stolen Diana Ross' wig, or that carny mustache, or the fact that he was three-feet-tall and wore six-inch platforms that he obviously had stolen from a hooker. I loved his music, and I just wanted to party like it was 1999.

And it's continued through the years, through Purple Rain, Controversy, Sign O The Times, and Graffiti Bridge. I even forgave him for doing crazy ass shit like changing his name to a symbol, and for the disturbing cover of Lovesexy, where he posed in the nude and looked like some freakish man-child offspring of Groucho Marx and Cupid.

When I found out he was performing during halftime of the last Super Bowl, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get my girls Princified. I would show them that 'When Doves Cry' was as good as it gets, that 'Rasberry Beret' was just as catchy as anything by The Frey. So imagine how crushed I was when, as I danced around doing the Roger Rabbit to the first chords of "Let's Go Crazy," Kiyomi took a close look at the screen, turned to me and asked, "Is that a woman?"

Yesterday we were listening to the radio in the car and Sinead O'Conner's "Nothing Compares To U" came on. When Kira said that she "kind of" liked the song, I once again saw it as a chance to bring them over to the Purple side. "Prince wrote this song" I mentioned nonchalantly.

"Ohhh," Kira said. "You mean that midget rocker dude?"

I'm thinking of grounding her for a year. Or maybe just confiscating her iPod and then returning it to her filled with the entire Prince discography and every video clip I can find of him on YouTube. There isn't anything in my parenting books that discusses what discipline is appropriate when your child insults one of your musical idols. Of course, summer's coming up, and on our next long road trip I plan to fill up the six-disc cd changer in the car with all my old Prince tunes. Perhaps that'll be punishment enough.

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tags: | i'll just take my records and go home

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43 comments:

  1. My boyfriend was in Vegas for business this past February and his company got the employees tickets to see Prince (apparently Prince is permanently performing at some club they named after him until further notice). Anyway, my boyfriend was sheltered music-wise and only likes house music. But, whatever Prince did during the concert made my boyfriend a devoted fan. For weeks, all I heard was "Prince is so cool," "That guitar of his is so sexy," "He is that man of all mans!" The last one worries me.

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  2. Midget rocker dude--love it!

    But seriously, how could you not love Prince???

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  3. Cassandra S.5/23/2007 11:30 AM

    I knew there was a reason I like you so much!

    I'm a lifelong Prince fan. Purple Rain is still one of my favorite movies of all time.

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  4. I was jamming out to Rasberry Beret in the car yesterday!

    I saw Prince in concert about seven years ago. It was awesome although the seats were not that great and, seeing as he's a wee man any way, it was difficult to make him out amongst all the dancers on stage.

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  5. that's raspberry...gah

    I had the Around the World in a Day vinyl album.

    Prince rules.

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  6. As much as "I would die 4 u," "midget rocker dude" kinda nails it.

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  7. Good luck explaining what "Darling Nikki" is about!

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  8. I had the early Prince albums on 8-Track. I believe my cave was next to yours.

    Very funny post.

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  9. The song Gett Off does funny things to me.
    'Let me tell you baby I'm a talented boy'...
    I bet you are, Prince, I bet you are.

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  10. Ooooh...Prince. He always did get my heart racing.

    When he sang "Cream"...

    Oh man.

    -annie

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  11. Prince. Sigh.

    Although I have to admit, Kira did call it correctly.

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  12. "Midget Rocker Due" that's classic.

    I remember how shocked my parents were with Little Red Corvette :)

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  13. "Midget Rocker Dude" with attitude.

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  14. Mallory totally dismisses Prince too. Because "his guitar is so stupid." This from the girl who had a pink stripe on one side of her hair last year.

    I think you can ground them. Mallory went through a phase where she was insulting Apple. We are hardcore Mac lovers. We told it was alright if she was an athiest and a vegetarian, probably even a communist, but if she said one more bad thing about Mac she would be disinherited. Then we made her swear on a Newsweek with Steve Jobs on the cover.

    I'm sure you have can find an old Rolling Stone with Prince to make them take the oath.

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  15. He's a musical genius and all, and don't think I haven't tried to copy him by replacing my name with a symbol, but yeah, he's an odd duck.

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  16. totally odd, yes, but totally cool!!

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  17. i've had a deep obsession with him for many years myself. i remember listening to darling nikki at a french club meeting in 9th grade. i even remember when his first album came out and he wore a corset, fishnets and garters while performing on soul train.

    am i calling attention to just how old i really am?

    to top off the love of all the is purple and velvet, moira was conceived after a prince concert three years ago.

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  18. I love me some Prince.

    HOUSEQUAKE!!

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  19. Um, my daughter Amber refers to George Clooney as "that ugly old dude you like, Mom."

    She is scheduled for reform school in Sweden. Want me to add Kira?

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  20. Isn't Christina the Wench funny?! "that old dude". I say send her to Sweden!

    I didn't know Prince wrote that Sinead song. It is one of my absolute favourites!

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  21. "midget rocker dude" -- snort!

    But so true. Though I too love me some Prince or whatever the heck his name is these days.

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  22. kids these days. what do they know? Prince has been rockin it since I can remember listening to music! I was banned from watching Purple Rain, I think I was 8.

    this reminds me of when my brother said the New Kids sucked, and they wouldn't be around in a few years. I think most bands these days will meet the same demise!

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  23. I remember totally making out with my boyfriend through the entire Purple Rain movie at the theater.
    Maybe hubby will want to rent it tonight;)

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  24. Prince has still got it -- your kids just need to catch up. (I'm proud that my 11-year-old does like him, but I think she feels his appearance on 'American Idol' last year gave him cred -- which is a little bit sad!)

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  25. So I guess you were not writing to the FCC about Prince stroking his guitar during the halftime show?

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0305072fcc4.html

    I <3 me some "7"

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  26. Yes, Prince IS a midget and quite bizarre. Nobody can argue with that. And I don't understand why some people think he's sexy. *gag* But, he IS super talented. And I think what we all like about him is he makes us remember when we were young and listened to his music for the first time. :) I remember listening to "Little Red Corvette" over and over trying to figure out what in the heck he was singing about anyway, cuz I just knew it wasn't about a car....

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  27. I think he should help Britney.:)

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  28. midget rocker dude. that's funny. as far as the princification, you can lead a horse to water...

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  29. I just want your extra time and your....KISS!

    Midget rocker dude. That's HILARIOUS.

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  30. Aw, I remember vinyl- got some old records in the closet as I write. Prince is the man....even though sometimes his hair looks better than mine.

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  31. Yeah, as much as I like Price he does look like a midget rocker dude and a girly one at that. SOrry.

    Just argue that one has to look beyond the height issue and listen to and feel the music, dude! (Ok. That last part sounded dorky. I'm sure you could argue that point much better.)

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  32. I can't get out of my head the thought of him appearing at your door in a white spandex catsuit and offering you a copy of "the Watchtower". Surely door to door JW evangelism is the weirdest aspect of the great love dwarf

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  33. *lol*
    OK....don't hate me for this, BUT, he is kind of a rocker midget dude *ducks and runs*

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  34. my friend shannon and i (14 at the time) got dressed up in dresses, high heels and make up to try to get in to Purple Rain when the movie came out. it was restricted. and everyone knows grown up women wear dresses, three inch heels and a lot of make up to a sunday matinee of a prince movie. duh. and you know, i remember walking up to the counter and trying to buy a ticket but i have NO idea if we got in. must have been more about the journey than the destination.

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  35. Quality always overcomes. Besides, kids love to tease the "old folks." I used to tease my brother, who is 20 years older. "You mean Robert Plant was in a band BEFORE The Honeydrippers? Really?!" Or, "I never really liked any of Paul McCartney's work before Wings..." That always got him.

    But you get older, you unstick your head from your butt, and the quality will out itself and you'll come to your senses.

    Or.

    You'll be one of those weird people who actually likes American Idol...

    (shudder)

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  36. He always looked to me like he'd been covered in oil and then dipped in a vat of pubic hair. Which means I much preferred to listen to him without actually seeing him.

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  37. My kids were equally unimpressed with Prince, which is outrageous. I think your ideas for punishment perfectly fit the crime.

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  38. I need to get purple rain on cd now, I loved him as a teenager and still own the tape somewhere, but I played it to death and the quality is so bad!

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  39. Man! You are hipper than I thought! I'm so not worthy of your music taste.

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  40. Can I borrow your iPod?

    Carrie

    ps. My boys called Depeche Mode "old music" and I cried.

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  41. I told my oldest daughter, 9, to check Prince out when we heard him on the radio. I told her he was a freak but knew music. A few weeks later the TV was on and she said, "Hey Dad, there's that Freak-guy you were talking about." I glanced at the TV and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was beginning. I laughed and told her that was Will Smith, he was cool - not the freak I was referring too.

    Robo

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  42. I remember a few weeks ago I was flipping through tv channels and "Purple Rain" was on Fuse. I'm only in my teens so I never really got to experience the whole Prince era. I decided to watch it and it's literally one of the greatest movies I've seen! I've been telling all my good friends they need to see it! I started buying Prince songs on iTunes...yeah I've become obsessed. lol

    "Tonight you're a star...and I'm the big dipper!"

    ahah I love Prince!! =]

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