Thursday, August 18, 2011

Flipping Off Movie Stars

Earlier today I was driving back home after dropping Kira off at a movie theater clear across town. (Why across town, when there are a million movie theaters that were closer? Because this one was more convenient for her friend. Kira has now been instructed that any future friends she makes have to live within a five mile radius of our house. When she meets someone, before even striking up a conversation she has to ask for their zip code and if it's too far she has to say, "I'm sorry. You're nice and all, but my mother almost had an aneurysm the last time she had to drive me across town for a movie so just move along.")

So I'm driving through Hollywood in a ton of traffic, and at one point I came to a stop behind a sleek black convertible sports car in the left-turn lane. When the light turned to a green left-turn arrow, he just sat there and after the car behind me honked I gave a little honk myself just to play along, and I guess the guy didn't like being pulled away from the text he was sending because he raised his arm up high and gave us all the finger.

(Don't you just love people, who when they're caught making a mistake decide that they're just going to turn it around and take their anger out on you? As if to say, "Yeah, I took a nap and missed that signal, but EFF YOU AND YOUR MOTHER AND STUFF.")

And he didn't just give us the finger. Because he was in a convertible he raised that arm of his way up in the air and waved that finger around like he was cursing not only us, but all of our ancestors, too. If anything it showed me a new way to use that sunroof on my van that I rarely ever crank open.

But the finger wasn't enough, so once we all turned left he decided to punish us all even further by going really, really slow, knowing full well that we didn't have room to pass him because there were cars parked all the street. He continued this for a few blocks, and when I finally had room to pass him I pulled up alongside him and decided to give him the warm greeting he had sent my way back at the intersection. No doubt everyone behind me did the same.

Except after I did it and I was driving past him I took a look and he kind of sort of looked like Benicio Del Toro. Well, maybe a lot like him.

So maybe I just gave a movie star the finger. If that was you, Benicio, know this - if I had realized who you were, I probably would still have flipped you off, but afterward I would have at least rolled down my window to tell you how brilliant you were in 21 Grams.

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Internship I Wish I Had

I don't usually post 'Help Wanted' ads, but this came through my mailbox and seemed too good not to pass on. Broadway/LA is looking for an intern at the Pantages Theatre.

I used to work at an ad agency right above the Pantages, and we worked for some of the best music venues in town, including the Greek Theater. Working in a theater environment is one of the most exciting experiences I've ever had. But that's a story for another time, those tales of me hanging out in the green room with David Byrne and those nights sipping cocktails with Kool & The Gang. Oh, low-paying, super-awesome jobs how I miss thee.

This is an unpaid internship, but for anyone interested in theater or entertainment, or even for anyone NOT interested in theater or entertainment it's a great opportunity and would certainly be a fun, creative environment. It sure beats sharpening pencils at your dad's office.

Here's the official release from Broadway/L.A. If you're interested, send your resume and cover letter directly to (not to me.) Good luck!


Broadway/L.A., located at the historic Pantages Theatre in Hollywood is looking for upbeat, energetic people who are interested in an active learning and working internship with the marketing office assisting with publicity and promotions activities during the 2011-2012 Season.
Ideal candidates for this internship will possess excellent organizational skills combined with positive energy and a willingness to learn and express some creativity. Basic knowledge of Broadway theatrical product in general is encouraged, but not required.
Responsibilities will include, but are not limited to, maintaining and updating contact lists, coordination of collateral materials, making follow-up and cold calls to prospective media and retail outlets, as well as basic filing, packing and shipping tasks. Interns will also assist with long and short term projects and help staff press and promotional events and appearances.

Parking provided.  Monthly transportation stipend will be provided.  College credit may be provided where necessary*.

How to Apply:

Interested Applicants, please e-mail resume and cover letter to Please place “Internship” in the subject line.
*I asked Broadway/LA about the college credit clause, and they described it this way: It is up to the applicant to get verification from their school that this particular internship qualifies as college credit. Thereafter, Broadway/LA is willing to sign off on any documentation that has been approved by the university, thereby granting them the credit. 

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Monday, August 01, 2011

One thing off my bucket list

Rigel and I have been trying to get the girls to sing together forever now with no success. In the rare times that they happen to belt out a few bars just for fun, we can tell that they harmonize really well and have encouraged them to perform together. We've even tried blackmailing them, but apparently the threat of showing up at their school in our underwear doesn't hold the weight it used to. They just say, "Again?"

Unfortunately, like most things we suggest that would require them to stand close to each other for more than five seconds, asking them to even sing a short tune together is met with screams of "OMIGOD NO" and "NEVERRRR!" Sometimes they throw in retching noises and grab at their throats just for effect.

In fact, back on May 20 on the eve of "Armageddon" as we were waiting to be picked up in that handbasket, we were sitting around contemplating what our last earthly wishes would be and I laid out my list. Along with firm thighs and a chance to sip a martini poolside with George Clooney, I told my girls that hearing them sing together was one of my main requests.

Kiyomi didn't even ponder my words for a second before she said, "Well, good luck with that," and Kira wasn't any more sympathetic - she just shrugged and said, "So sad the world will end without that happening for you, MOM."

Last Friday was the last day of their summer camp and all the kids put on a concert. The girls' favorite part about the session is that they all break off and form their own music groups, and get to perform a song they wrote.

Imagine our surprise when we saw the girls take the stage together:

Of course, when Rigel and I brought up the fact that they had fulfilled our lifelong dream, Kiyomi said, "Yeah, by the time we realized what was happening we were horrified but it was too late." No matter - I can cross that one off my bucket list and finally concentrate on my thighs.

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