Forty Eight Round Blobs Of Happiness

Geez, am I tired! Tonight was Open House at the girls' school, and being one of only six or seven parents who volunteer (yes, in a school of 500 students! WHAT'S UP, OTHER PARENTS?!) we were in a frenzy, selling pizza, drinks, baked goods - dealing with the kids is tiring enough, but then you get the righteous dad who complains that we are selling a cupcake for a whole dollar and you just want to shove an entire bundt cake into his piehole and say, "How's THAT? Would you pay a fricken dollar for THAT?!"

Oh yes. Open House! It was awesome, because there's nothing like seeing your child really EXCITED to show you every essay, math paper and art project that they've worked on, so excited that they're pulling you around the room like a dog with a chew toy. Make that CUTE LITTLE PUPPY with a grizzled, old chew toy. I know that in a few years they will be so mortally embarrassed to even be seen with me, unless I am following them around the mall carrying their bags of course, that I need to soak all these moments in. They are still at the stage where they love school - imagine that, LOVING SCHOOL. And they want to hug their teachers - can you imagine that, HUGGING YOUR TEACHER? (Here's where I would make a crack about Mary Kay LeTourneau, or say "Just another day in college!" but I WILL NOT.)

We needed more items to sell at the bake sale since as of noon today we only had a couple of pans of brownies and a box of Ritz crackers donated (Hello? Bake Sale? Not 'Clean Out Your Pantry' sale, people!) More stuff turned up later but at this point we were in panic mode so I decided to pick up some Krispy Kreme doughnuts since my new creed is No More Baking For Bake Sales Or Classroom Parties Or Other Events That Don't Require Baking. I was feeling so all that cause I had a coupon for a free dozen doughnuts - that is GOLD my friends, a WHOLE DOZEN FREE KRISPY KREMES. Free Doughnuts. Did I mention FREE? That meant that I could get three boxes, and just pay for two. So imagine the thousand levels of joy that permeated my body when I walked into Krispy Kreme with my coupon and the Krispy Gal says, "You can save that coupon, cause you get a free dozen with every dozen you buy today." Good God, woman! You mean - I can get FOUR boxes and only pay for TWO? Twenty-four units of heavenly baked goodness, gratis? Is there no end to the bountiful pleasures you dispense here?

I couldn't help but tell everyone at the school about the Great Doughnut Score of 2005, of course. No prouder could I have been if I was bestowed with powers to lay golden eggs, but not everyone was as excited as I was. Can you even fathom that, not being excited about FREE DOUGHNUTS? Tell me, do we even want to exist in such a cold, empty world? Take me back, back to that place where we love school and hug our teachers, and the words 'Free Dougnuts' brings sweet tears to our eyes.

Archive File: Offspring | This Life | Eating

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