Let's face it -- I couldn't stay away from the gossip life too long. I didn't want to admit it but I've missed writing about celebrities ever since I left my last writing gig. Famous people do the darndest things! So I decided to start something on my blog, a sort of daily fix of celebrity gossip. I'm calling it Daily Celebrity Dropping because it's like one of those 'presents' your pet leaves for you on the carpet everyday. Sure it's unsightly but at least you don't have to clean this one up.
I missed the Jesse James interview on Nightline last night which crushed me because I was really looking forward to it. Not like someone looks forward to a party, but sort of in the same way you might get excited about eating a double-jalapeno-cheeseburger: you know it's going to be good, you'll feel bad about it while it's happening and then at some point there will be crying.
In case you've been living under a rock, James has admitted to cheating on Sandra Bullock with a really scary-looking biker chick named 'Bombshell' McGee and around four-hundred other scary-looking biker chicks. This interview was his first since the bombshell surfaced (pun intended) and was supposed to be his mea culpa forthrowing his marriage in the toilet and also for dressing up like a Nazi. I don't know about you but this guy sounds like a real catch.
Sure enough James did start crying, and at first I thought it was because he threw his marriage in the toilet and dressed up like a Nazi (did I say that already) but then I started thinking maybe he got something in his eye. Or maybe they were tears of frustration when he was asked how many women he had actually cheated with and he couldn't count that high.
Call me crazy, but this whole affair thing surprised me -- even though James was a little rough around the edges I thought he seemed like a good husband for Bullock. Rigel says if I believe that he's got a couple of tattooed biker chicks he'd like to bring over for dinner.
I'm kind of obsessed with this video right now, of a mouse that runs through an unbelievably elaborate obstacle course. Maybe I'm just jealous because I can't even get my cat to bury its own poop.
I have a new post up over at the LA Moms Blog. It's a story about the piano teacher I had when I was a little girl, but don't expect a warm, fuzzy nostalgic look back at years filled with a wondrous discovery of music. No, it's more of a bitter, angry tale of a cold, distant woman who made me never want to sit down at a piano again. Not that I blame her for my lack of musical talent, but I do credit her with instilling in me a deep fear of false eyelashes.
I took piano lessons for years when I was young but don't ask me to sit down at the piano at your dinner party and play "Ode To Joy" or request my keyboard accompaniment when you sing, "Always and Forever" at your sister's wedding. (Don't laugh -- you know you've never been to a wedding where they didn't play that song.)
And the reason is, I don't remember how to a play a single thing after all those lessons and that drain on my parents' bank account. In fact, one of the only things I remember has nothing to do with perfecting my scales or learning the difference between a major and a minor chord. It's this: I remember my piano teacher's false eyelash coming off during a lesson and fluttering down to her cheek, where it sat for the next thirty minutes, totally unbeknownst to her...Read More...
My interview with Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx and his partner Kelly Gray is in the current issue of Genlux magazine. Gray, the daughter of the St. Johns Knits founders, and Sixx teamed up to start Royal Underground, an incredibly badass line of clothing that is the favorite of rock n' roll royalty. I asked them if a writer mom with two kids could rock a little Royal Underground, and Sixx just laughed and said that, speaking as a father of four, no matter what we wear our kids will never think we're cool. Well, mister, obviously you've never seen my bedazzled mom jeans and studded fanny pack.
I interviewed them over the phone, and coincidentally later that day a friend called to tell me she had a phone interview coming up and was wondering what high-tech equipment I used to talk to all these high-falutin' celebrities. I told her to come over and check it out, but that if she was expecting something out of Mission Impossible she was going to be disappointed because my desk looks like it belongs to a high school science nerd circa 1970. All that's missing is a can of Cactus Cooler and a tube of Clearasil. Okay maybe just the Cactus Cooler.
Last year I went to Radio Shack and bought a small tape recorder that is used specifically for recording calls off the phone. Sounds shady, I know, and I think the clerk even mumbled something about only previously selling them to middle-aged men with shifty eyes. Then, because I always like to have an additional recording source as backup, recently the friendly clerk at Radio Shack (who I'm now on a first-name basis with and is probably going to ask me to adopt him), suggested a recording earphone. One end plugs into the recorder and the other end has a small device that you put in whichever ear you would put the phone receiver up to.
I know you're starting to get an unbelievably sexy mental image of me right now. Hold on, let me put on my retainer.
Anyway, by the time I'm ready to do a phone interview, I've got enough wires running in and around me that I'm almost afraid to take a sip of my coffee because I think that a spilled drop will set off an electrical fire. I imagine Rigel and the girls finding my body, burned to a crisp in my office chair and the only way they'll know for sure it's me is by the piece of metal with the Radio Shack logo embedded in my corpse.
But don't let this nerdy scenario scare you away from reading the interview. Both Sixx and Gray were really funny and smart and real, and I have a feeling that even if they could see me on the other end of the phone wrapped in my fifty cords and wires they wouldn't judge me. Especially if they saw my fanny pack with the Mötley Crüe logo on it.
Don't worry -- this isn't going to be one of those sappy posts where I yammer on and on about the joys of having children, about how I've loved every minute of it from hearing their sweet giggles to changing soggy diapers to scraping dried oatmeal off of my forehead.
No, I'm talking about my new favorite show, "Parenthood." Not that being a parent isn't awesome, although I don't understand anyone who says they actually enjoy changing diapers. Perhaps they're referring to the bonding moments that take place during this intimate time, or the symbolic nature of the act? I tend to think they're just lying liars. Although I have to admit just thinking about the oatmeal makes me tear up a little.
In case you haven't had a chance to catch the show, it's on Tuesday nights at 10pm on NBC. No I'm not being paid to write this -- I'm just excited that there's something on TV that I actually look forward to watching. Rigel hasn't come on board yet -- it's definitely more in the 'chick flick' genre -- but he does find it slightly more palatable than my other fave, "Hoarders." Notice I said slightly.
But Kira and Kiyomi love it and watch it with me, even though they said they were grossed out by a recent episode that showed, "old people having sex." That old person would be one of the main characters played by Peter Krause, that hottie ancient relic in his mid-forties. Funny, I wasn't grossed out in the least bit by seeing him naked from the waist up.
I've become a huge fan of "Parenthood,"and if I'm not careful I think I could turn into one of those crazy people that starts to exhibit strange groupie behavior. That's right -- if you catch me peppering my speech with quotes from the show and wearing an oversized Parenthood sweatshirt that I've bedazzled myself -- it might be time to step in and stage an intervention.
Just don't do it on Tuesday night.
Here's a a preview of tonight's episode. If you like it I can make us matching sweatshirts.
Happy Earth Day! I was hoping to write a post today about how I was honoring our planet on this special day. Maybe I'd be writing this on a laptop powered by solar panels while wearing a pair of hemp jeans and sipping on a smoothie made from sustainable crops. Or sending you reports from a city beach somewhere, where I was picking up soda cans and cigarette butts with my kids and filling their impressionable young minds with love paeans to mother earth.
Well -- didn't happen.
Instead, I'm having a decidedly un-earth day, because I'm in a bit of a frenzy right now. The kids are home early because of a fair and open house at the school tonight, they have friends over whose parents couldn't pick them up, and I'm frantically trying to prepare for Kira's 14th birthday party here on Saturday. So in other words there aren't any Earth Day sonnets being written and I think I actually walked by a couple of soda cans laying on the ground. In my driveway.
But you know what? Because all the women's magazines tell me to be good to ME, I'm going to go easy on myself and find the ways I did honor the earth. Today wasn't a total bust - here are some ways I found my Earth Day moments by turning lemons into lemonade. Or should I say 'juice made from organic locally grown citrus.'
1) I've been cleaning the house today in preparation for around two dozen 14-year-olds descending on my house this weekend, and every single light in the place is on. Even the waffle iron light is on which is weird because I haven't made waffles since 2001. Earth Day moment: I didn't use the vacuum cleaner! So what if I used enough electricity today to power the entire state of Wyoming -- all the microorganisms who call my couch their home will live to see another day.
2) I had the dishwasher and the washing machine on simultaneously. While I was rinsing off the sidewalk. And hosing off the cat. Earth Day moment: I didn't shower today. So what if I used enough water to supply the entire state of Utah -- all the microorganisms who call my navel their home will live to see another day.
3) In honor of Earth Day I could have walked the four blocks to the school to pick the kids up, but since they had their friends coming over and I needed to pick up lunch, I drove my van. Oh, and the other reason -- I hate to walk. Earth Day moment: At least I don't drive a Hummer.
4) Oh, and that lunch? Because of time restraints I regret to admit that it was McDonalds. Seeing as their burgers are made from extinct rain-forest toads and pandas, probably not a good Earth Day choice. Earth Day moment: We recycled all the wrappings! Even the cardboard drink tray, which I turned into a chandelier. You'll just have to believe me.
5) Getting back to that cleaning, instead of using natural cleaners made from vinegar and puppy sweat, I used all manner of toxic chemicals ranging from bleach to industrial-strength etching acid. You would too if you saw my bathtub. Earth Day moment: I used sponges instead of wasting paper towels. Okay they were endangered sponges from The Great Barrier Reef. Nobody's perfect.
But all in all it was a good day, and I'm about to drop all the kids back at school and I'll have a few minutes to myself before I have to head back for open house. I think I'll have a glass of wine during my little break. Organic wine. Enough to help me write that sonnet.
I'm going to apologize up front to those of you who are sick and tired of hearing me talk about this damn concert, but it really was that good and I wanted to post some pictures here. Besides, it's either this or five paragraphs on why it took me three hours to clean our guest bathroom. That's right -- don't make me cut you with my housekeeping stories.
As you might know, Kiyomi is a HUGE Beatles fan, and besides really wanting to take her to see one of the two remaining band members we all really wanted to see Sir Paul. (I was the only one who has seen him live, way back when he was with Wings.) Also, we've taken Kira to see her share of concerts and we wanted to take Kiyomi to see someone of her choice -- can I just tell you how grateful we all are that she really dislikes Justin Bieber.
Oh, I think I might have offended all you Justin Bieber fans out there. I'm sure he's got some talent, and it's just a matter of his sound maturing. Like maybe when he's potty trained.
First of all a word on those tickets, which cost us a small fortune. Thank God Rigel and I are millionaires and have huge piles of cash laying around the house specifically earmarked for concerts! So it wasn't painful in the least bit to spend all that money for four seats in the last section of the Hollywood Bowl, and totally worth it I might add. Besides those piles were starting to become a nuisance -- constantly sweeping up hundred-dollar bills is really exhausting.
It was decided that the girls and I would take a shuttle and Rigel would meet us at the concert (he works just blocks from the Bowl) rather than deal with the hellish parking -- not only is their infamous 'stacked' parking a nightmare, but once the concert ends you're stuck in a gargantuan traffic jam. Rumor has it there are actually still some people attempting to find their way out from when the Beatles played there in '64.
But with only minutes before we had to catch the shuttle my van wouldn't start. I handled this minor setback with my usual calm manner -- by cursing, beating the steering wheel with my forehead until I was bloody and then blaming the whole thing on Rigel. Luckily one of our nice neighbors took pity on me and lent me her car -- it might have been after she heard me yelling at the girls to get out and push the van the five blocks to the shuttle stop.
Everyone knows the best part about seeing a concert at the Hollywood Bowl is being able to picnic there beforehand. We weren't able to find any grass to eat on, so along with a few hundred other people we had to settle for a curb near the entrance, right in the path of the service vehicles. Luckily I had wine to make it all better, and lots of it because I had to finish the bottle before we went in - I found out we couldn't take any alcohol inside. Surprisingly, I didn't have any problems finding several people who wanted to help me out so it wouldn't go to waste. And I'm proud to say I taught my kids a valuable lesson that day -- waving a bottle around and yelling, "Free wine!" is a quick way to make lots of friends.
Now that I've told you every detail leading up to the event I'm exhausted and you'll just have to make do with these photos and video. I'll just say that the concert was fantastic and there really is something so moving about hearing McCartney sing the Beatles songs live. And he did a lot of them: Let It Be, The Long and Winding Road, Blackbird, just to name a few. (You can see an entire set list here.) But the best part was seeing how much Kira and Kiyomi loved the concert, and how they knew the words to all these legendary songs that were written way before they were born. Take that, Justin Beiber.
(These were taken with my new favorite camera, the Kodak Z950. Considering we were sitting way in the back, the zoom on this camera is amazing.)
Here's a video of them doing one of my favorites, Got To Get You Into My Life. My camera work on the first few seconds will probably make you nauseous and want to vomit, but hang in there. How's that for a setup.
My Genlux interview with actress April Bowlby is on the newsstands now. In case you don't know who she is, she's currently starring with Margaret Cho in Lifetime's Drop Dead Diva. But maybe you'll recognize her as Jon Cryer's girlfriend/wife on Two and a Half Men and Neil Patrick Harris' girlfriend on How I Met Your Mother. If you met her you'd want her to be your girlfriend, too.
This was one of my favorite interviews I've done. She was sweet, funny and genuinely nice and what started out as a 45-minute lunch turned into an almost three-hour afternoon. After it was done I wanted to be best friends with April and invite her over so we could talk about boys and give each other fake tattoos with Sharpies. That didn't happen but we did become friends on Facebook, the adult equivalent of someday possibly maybe planning to hang out at Dairy Queen after school.
You can read the interview and see all the photos here.
When we first arrived in the bleacher area they were handing out small boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts which was exciting because, holy crap FREE DONUTS. But here's the surprising, weird, unnatural thing: I didn't even eat mine. In fact, I have no idea what happened to them because somewhere in the excitement of being at the freaking Academy Awards and trying to juggle my iPhone, my video camera and my digital camera I lost a box of donuts. As I'm sitting here typing this I'm actually really, really missing those donuts.
But who can cry over sugary blobs of dough when there's George Clooney within zoom lens distance?
George is officially my new favorite celebrity. He was the only one who broke from the press line and came all the way over to the bleachers to say hello. In fact, message to Bradley Cooper, who I didn't see on the Red Carpet and certainly didn't come over to greet the fans -- YOU HAVE BEEN REPLACED.
Here's Matt Damon. Unfortunately when I saw him through my zoom lens I shouted out, "It's Leonardo DiCaprio!" I may not be invited back next year.
Here's Meryl Streep looking fantastic as always. I think I saw the most camera flashes going off when she stepped onto the Red Carpet. Meryl looks so happy and relaxed, because I don't think she was concerned with winning the Oscar since she's won around fifty times before. Also, directly behind her is George Clooney, and who wouldn't be happy with George Clooney behind them? That didn't come out right.
That's Ryan Reynolds. Otherwise known as My Niece's Future Husband.
Mo'nique was workin' the camera. Sorry to disappoint, but I wasn't able to zoom in on her hairy legs. Besides, I hear she shaved them. For some reason that makes me sad.
This is a bad shot of James Cameron and his wife Suzi Amis. Somebody should give her some of those donuts.
Call me old school but I was pretty excited to see Quincy Jones.
Here's E!s Giuliana Rancic. I was supposed to interview her a couple of weeks ago at an Oscar suite event at a hotel in Hollywood, but when I got there they said she had gotten sick and canceled. But hey, I got a free manicure and got to sit around drinking scotch with some famous people I didn't recognize so I forgave Giuliana pretty quickly.
At the end of the Red Carpet arrivals we all were escorted across the street to the El Capitan theater where we watched the awards on the big screen while we ate dinner. Rigel was able to meet me there for this event, although we were in a mild state of panic when we discovered they weren't serving any drinks. Not to sound desperate or anything, but after a long day I was looking to unwind with a nice glass of wine. But luckily they had an all-you-can eat dinner buffet which made me pretty ecstatic.
This photo of Mo'nique accepting her Best Supporting Actress Oscar was taken while I was balancing a plate of mini quiche, some eggrols, a Caesar salad and a tub of popcorn on my lap. I agree -- I deserve an award for that.
After the awards were over we headed over to the Roosevelt Hotel for a drink, and this Cosmo gets the award for Best Beverage In a Supporting Role:
But one of the best parts of the day came as Rigel and I were sitting and having a drink. In walked one of our best friends and his daughter -- he's a member of the Academy and had attended the awards. We sat and shared a plate of fries, a couple of rounds of drinks and some Academy Awards day stories before heading home. What a great day! Now, if only I could get someone to send me those donuts...
This is just the first of my posts on going to the Academy Awards. Yes, there will be many, because how could I fit the events of that amazing day into just one post? If you know me, it takes at least 1500 words to tell you about picking out a frozen pizza at the supermarket. Oh, make that 2500 if I give you the details on how I took ten minutes giving the cashier exact change.
I have to say the preparation for going to the Oscars was the most stressful part. First of all, what was I going to wear? I had commentors on my blog daring me to wear my bathrobe and one person on Twitter suggesting that I wear a flowerpot on my head, so you can see the level of sophistication people expect from me. Add to that the fact that putting on pants constitutes a dress-up day around here and you see what I was up against. Luckily I had some help getting myself Red Carpet-worthy and all I had to do was put on pants.
But that was only half the battle. What about my mug? How was I going to go from mom blogger to someone who was Oscar-bleacher-worthy? After all, if Bradley Cooper happened to glance over my way I wanted to make sure I looked my best and I hear unibrows don't go over too big with foxy movie stars.
So to the rescue came my friend, Marygene, who showed up at my house at 6:45am on Sunday morning to do my makeup. She came over to help me and my fellow blogger Donna get ready for our close ups. Notice the huge stash of makeup she brought with her -- obviously word of my large pores and undereye circles preceded me.
And to top it off, Marygene lives in Hollywood and was nice enough to offer to drop us off close to the Kodak Theater so we didn't have to take a cab like we had planned. I have to admit I was a little nervous about taking one, since I'm from L.A. and don't even know how to take a taxi; Do you ask them up front about the price? Do you chat with the driver? Does the car have seatbelts? Can you tell them how to drive like you do when your husband is at the wheel?
Thank goodness we didn't have to deal with any of that, and Marygene dropped us off close enough so that we only had a few blocks to walk (since walking is yet another thing we don't do in L.A.) All the streets in the area were blocked off, so here's the bizarre view of a completely deserted Hollywood Boulevard at 10 o'clock in the morning (Even more bizarre: No hookers!):
We had to show our official papers from the Academy to get through the police barricade, and then it was on to a checkpoint to get our badges and gain admittance to the bleacher area. I have to say that everyone was extremely friendly and there was none of the attitude or airs that you would expect from such a high-profile event. I think I had more problems with the staff at our middle-school theater night -- I'm telling you, give a 12-year-old some power and they turn into Mussolini.
Once inside I was seated with the awesome crew from Kodak. Here is our view of the Red Carpet from our special section of the bleacher seats:
Luckily I was able to zoom in and get shots like this:
Yes, that's right - Jason Bateman is looking right at me! I think he was saying something like, "Check out the amazing blogger in row 4."
Next Up: Academy Awards Part II: Celebrities, Beautiful People, and Donuts
Disclaimer Small Print! I was invited by Kodak to be their guest in the bleacher seats at the 82nd Annual Academy Awards. The bleacher tickets have no monetary value and I was not paid for my attendance or compensated for writing this post. Vendor(s) mentioned in this post have no affiliation with Kodak. I do not actually think my kids' middle-school classmates are like Mussolini, more like really bossy midgets.
