Monday, December 05, 2005

'Thanksgiving, Part 2' or 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go'

I just realized I never wrote, 'Thanksgiving, Part 2' because I'm so tired.

It's the post where I was going to talk about things other than the trailer-park grub, my psychotic behavior and that whore, Martha Stewart. It's the one where I would talk lovingly and not sarcastically about my family and how grateful I am for them and even though we see way way too much of each other I still look forward to our get-togethers and how awesome it is that Kira and Kiyomi are growing up surrounded by such a big, loving extended family.

I would go on and on about how proud I am of my nieces and nephews and how they are growing up to be amazing people and all seem to have an obnoxious, sarcastic sense of humor that runs in both Rigel and my families. I would get all teary-eyed when I recount how the older kids all take such good care of the younger ones and I would start to cry real tears of joy when I think of all the free babysitting coming our way. If I wasn't so tired I would post a picture of my two nieces, Allie and Beth, who were flower girls at our wedding and who are now beautiful college girls who spend alot of time at these family gatherings bemoaning the absence of any boyfriends and how, at 21, THEY JUST KNOW they are destined to die alone in an apartment filled with cat poop.

I would be embarrassed to admit it but I would confess how we all still crack each other up with moronic jokes and truly think that taking photos of each other sleeping and drooling is high comedy. If I weren't so sleep-deprived I might be able to recount word for word the conversation that took place between my two brothers that sounded like something out of a Woddy Allen movie, about being a cheapskate and buying things that originally cost $50 but are marked down to $30 and not ponying up the extra $20 for our gift exchange and how IT'S NOT IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT TO BE SO CHEAP, and ended with my brother exclaiming IT IS NOT THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!!!

If I could stay awake long enough I would go into detail about my brother's future in-laws who are all wonderful people but I think are a little freaked out by my family and all the trash-talking and bathroom humor. I would definitely want to tell the story about me and two of my sister-in-laws and how we were joking, rather convincingly I now see, about drinking LOTS OF WINE and then pretending to drink right out of the bottles, you know, to WASH THE CRACK DOWN, and laughing kind of maniacally and how one of the future in-laws said to me, rather worriedly, later on, "I see you like to drink LOTS OF WINE." I guess I would try to convey how guilty I feel about possibly making my brother's future in-laws think that their daughter is marrying into a family of alcoholics, drug addicts and low-brows and how they may be right about at least two of those.

Really, I wish I could write about these things but I have to go take a nap.

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  1. I don't see how drinking directly out of the bottle is stating that we are alcoholics -- we were just making sure that nothing was going to waste. It was very thoughtful of us. I thought that we all behaved very well for their first initiation to one of our family parties, so if they were alarmed or frightened by our "best behavior" then we are in big trouble.

  2. Wow,this kinda sounds like one of my family get togethers. Except people usually really have ingested too much of *something*. This may be why the theme for our last family reunion was 'Attend at your own risk'. It was lovely, though and we only had two slap fights; but after we seperated Granny and Gramps, everything calmed down.

  3. I'm in your blog! I'm kind of pathetic (it'll be fish poop, by the way--cats require too much attention), but I'm in your blog! Oh, how I've dreamt of this day (and I don't mean that obnoxiously or sarcastically, though I am pleased to hear that you think we've all inherited that trademark sense of humor).

    Wonderful entry, as always. I'm such a blog-stalker. Can't wait to see you guys in December.


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