This Is: A Lame Excuse For A Blog Post.

This has probably been the longest stretch I've gone without posting to this blog. I wish I had some valid excuse - a bout of amnesia resulting from a street brawl, or the discovery of a winning lottery ticket, but the truth is I just haven't had the time or the inclination to sit down and write anything. I thought about doing one of those audio posts that I've seen so many people do lately, but to be perfectly honest I absolutely hate the sound of my voice and it would be tortuous to hear it blasting out to cyberspace, causing all ten of my readers to simultaneously lunge for the 'mute' buttons on their computers.

Blogging has become such an important part of my life that when I'm away from it, it's always interesting to see the effect it has me. For instance, that witty remark I made during the school planning meeting? I pause afterwards and wonder if I should Save as Draft or hit the Publish button. And while whining to Rigel about the horrific day I had helping out with all the end-of-school parties and PTA activities, I wonder the entire time if he will leave a comment afterwards. And who else will comment? Would my story about Kira coughing into the salad bar at Vons go over better? How many hits has my life gotten today? If my phone rings does it get recorded by SiteMeter? All these thoughts are going through my head as Rigel leaves the room, growing impatient with my faraway stare and annoyed at my fingers tapping at an imaginary keyboard on my dinner plate.

I've also had no time to visit the three hundred blogs that I'm addicted to, and it's got me in a bit of a panic. I've been feeling like I'm missing something, that once I check back you'll have all signed multi-million-dollar book deals and all those pictures of your kids on your blogs will have been replaced with shots of you laying on George Clooney's lap while he drinks Cristal out of your bra cup.

We're off to stay with some friends at their lake house for a few days. I'm taking my laptop with me, and while there I'm hoping that someone pulls up Jimmy Hoffa while reeling in a trout, or I accidentally lock myself in the bathroom at the gas station, or anything else interesting that will give me some inspiration to write. Because otherwise I'll have to subject you all to an audio post of me waxing poetic about a tree or singing a lullaby to my daiquiri, or better yet maybe a video post reenaction of Kira hacking into the bins of romaine and three-bean salad at the supermarket. Don't say you weren't warned.

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