Monday, June 07, 2010

Daily Celebrity Dropping: Sandra Bullock Kissed A Girl And She Liked It...But Did We?

So, unless you've had your head buried in your Snuggie all day, you know that Sandra Bullock kissed Scarlett Johansson during last night's MTV Movie Awards. Personally, I think they could have come up with something more original to shock us with. Like maybe a shot of Russell Brand with his shirt buttoned.

And hasn't the girl-on-girl kiss jumped the shark? After Madonna and Britney, and Bullock and Meryl Streep, and Miley Cyrus and every dancer on her tour, who's next? Please don't go there, Betty White.

Besides, I think the bigger news was how great Sandra looked. I'll bet Jesse James was crying all over his Nazi stripper.
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Saturday, June 05, 2010

Daily Celebrity Dropping: I'm So Excited To Not See 'Marmaduke'

There are a lot of things that make me sad about my girls getting older, like not being able to carry them anymore and not being able to eat off their plate without getting my fork batted away. Oh and that thing where they pretend to know more than me makes me really want to cry sometime.

But just knowing that they won't be asking to see 'Marmaduke' makes me so happy I could almost agree to seeing 'The Backup Plan' with them someday. On DVD. After a couple of glasses of wine.

I haven't seen it yet, but just a glimpse of the trailer and the ads on TV make me long for the cinematic brilliance of 'Garfield, The Movie.'  I wish this trend of making movies out of comic strips would just go away. That said, I am kind of looking forward to 'Mary Worth' in 3D.
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Friday, June 04, 2010

Daily Celebrity Dropping: Justin Bieber Causes Poor Judgement in Elderly

Need proof that Justin Bieber is nothing but trouble? Here's a story about a 14-year-old fan who has been sleeping for days on the streets of midtown Manhattan in order to get a front-row seat for the teenybopper's appearance on the 'Today' show. 63-year-old Jeannine Walker helped granddaughter Bailey Hosterman and her friend set up camp outside the show's studios in Rockefeller Plaza so that the teens could be first in line.
I know, you're saying to yourself, "Awww, nice granny!" But then the story gets strange. And I get all judgmental.

Walker isn't participating in the campout -- she checked into a nearby hotel and left the girls on their own. "I'm too old to sleep on the cement with a poncho," grandma said. "I didn't worry...we text and they always have their phones on." 

Is it just me, or does it sound batshit crazy to leave two girls sleeping on the streets of New York alone? Okay, I'll stop wagging my finger now.
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[via nydailynews]

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Thursday, June 03, 2010

Daily Celebrity Dropping: Suri Cruise Has Her Own iPad and Other Injustices

The other day Kira asked me for $20 so she could go to the mall and buy some desperately-needed Lady Gaga paraphernalia. As I handed it over I thought to myself, "What kind of commercialized environment am I bringing my kids up in?" It made me sad that my girls felt that the path to happiness could only be found through an overpriced t-shirt from Hot Topic. I think a tear may have even fell into my four-dollar double cappuccino.

Then I read that Suri Cruise, daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, has her very own iPad. Along with having a purported $3 million wardrobe and over a 100 pairs of shoes, it appears the four-year-old also has the much-coveted new Apple product. After I heard about this, I thought to myself, "What kind of deprived environment am I bringing my kids up in?" It made me sad to think that I couldn't afford to buy each of my girls a $500 media-consumption device. I started to cry harder into my six-dollar caramel macchiato.

I'm thinking of switching to decaf from McDonalds.
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Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Daily Celebrity Dropping: 'True Blood' Will Make Everything Okay

I've been laying awake at night wondering what I'm going to do now that Parenthood has ended for the season. I thought I was going to have to resort to reading a book or getting out of the house and interacting with humans, but now that I know that True Blood is coming back on June 13 I can breathe a sigh of relief.



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Please forgive me for this

I thought long and hard about posting this, but in the end I decided that a video of a tortoise having sex with a Croc was just too good not to share.

Especially entertaining are the sounds he makes (seriously, I had no idea tortoises made any noise) and the expression on its face. Also, I've never owned a pair of Crocs and now I don't think I ever will.



[via BoingBoing]

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Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Daily Celebrity Dropping: I Think Bradley Cooper Is Hot and So Does He

Remember the cute guy in high school who was always looking in his rear view mirror and smoothing his feathered bangs, adjusting the collar on his Members Only jacket and winking at himself? Bradley Cooper is in danger of turning into that dude, minus the bangs, jacket and the 1975 El Camino.

Don't get me wrong -- I've loved Bradley Cooper since I saw him in 'The Hangover.' Not many actors could make stealing a tiger from Mike Tyson seem like a good idea. And well, he's hot. But when he's quoted as saying things like this, it kind of takes the shine off that gleaming, cut chest of his. Sort of.

"I was like, 'This cannot be me – that's the way I look? It was so f-----g surreal, 'cause as a kid I only fantasized about looking that way. Remember Soloflex commercials? That was huge when I was a kid. It was like, 'I wanna be the Soloflex guy. Mom, can we get the Soloflex?' " Cooper, raving to Details magazine about when he first saw his pumped-up body onscreen for his role in 'The A-Team.'
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Hug a newspaper today

Like a lot of families, Rigel and I have had to find ways to cut our expenses during the past year. There were some necessities I absolutely wasn't willing to let go of, like my uncontrollable Starbucks habit or HBO -- I didn't see the point of going on if I couldn't have my double-cappuccinos and True Blood. But there were a few things I thought could be wiped from our budget, and after a lot of thought we decided we really could live without the daily delivery of Kobe beef and our live-in masseuse. We were sad to see Olaf go but he did get a nice severance package and a Tupperware full of ribeyes before he left.

One of the other luxuries we decided to cut back on was our subscription to The Los Angeles Times. Since we get most of our news online now, sometimes at the end of the week we'd just end up with a stack of unopened papers. But we weren't willing to give it up altogether, so we decided to still have the paper delivered on Thursday through Sunday. Also, I liked the illusion of being well-read that the paper sitting in our driveway gives us. Shallow, I know, but if the only time your neighbors saw you was when you were taking your kids school in your pajamas, a little culture PR could go a long way.

Besides helping to impress our neighbors, the Times is also where I can find one of my favorite columnists, Chris Erskine. His 'Man Of The House' feature is really one of the only reasons I get out of bed on Saturday, and without it Rigel would have to go back to leaving a trail of bacon pieces leading out of the bedroom.

And sure I could always read it online, but then I'd miss the pleasure of sitting down with a cup of coffee and paper in hand to read things like this:

I have never seen so many sober moms in one place as at the end-of-the-year school carnival the other day — a frightening and unexpected sight. Usually, to assemble a gaggle of women of this caliber, you need to be serving adult drinks. Some of these women haven't had a beverage in years that didn't have a salted rim. Others wear wine on their lips like Chanel. When you kiss them hello, it's like kissing Tuscany full on the mouth. Bottoms up. Yum.

Listen, I'm not being judgmental, for the warmer months are upon us, and doctors say it's important to keep your fluids up. 
That even made my Tuesday much better.

But there are other reasons for hanging on to our subscription, like being able to see my niece's byline in this magazine every week. Also, with many saying that newspapers wll be all but gone in the near future, I like to think I'm doing my small part to keep them alive -- I hate the thought of my future grandchildren not being able to wake up to a newspaper waiting for them on the front step.  And that right there is almost worth giving up my daily steak and backrub.
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Friday, May 28, 2010

Daily Celebrity Dropping: RIP Gary Coleman

Gary Coleman died this morning from a brain hemorrhage resulting from a fall in his Utah home two days ago.  Even though his adult life had turned into kind of a spectacle, he really was a cute kid. And who hasn't uttered the line, "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" at least once?



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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Daily Celebrity Dropping: American Idol Winner Lee DeWyze is Ruining Lives

I didn't watch American Idol at all this season, but I do know that Lee DeWyze beat out Crystal Bowersox for the title last night. Also, I do know of at least one woman who really hates Dwyze -- see this video of a woman completely losing her shit when he's announced as the winner.

I think she actually moans, "Omigod my whole life is ruined." I mean, I don't think I've said anything that dramatic since I found out True Blood was going on hiatus.



(A couple of NSFW moments for language and then when you put your fist through the computer screen trying to punch her.)
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