Friday, January 11, 2008

Put Another Candle on The Rum Cake

Today is my birthday. For some reason I've never wanted to reveal the actual date of my birthday on my blog. I think with all the talk about cyberstalking and I.D. theft I got paranoid, and was afraid that some psycho reading my stories would somehow find a way to break into my bank account and steal that forty-nine dollars in there, or harm me for using too many serial commas. So let me just say to all the psychos: Seriously, there is only forty-nine dollars in there, and maybe some change. Your time may be better spent breaking into the DMV database and wiping that jaywalking ticket off your record.

I was born on my dad's birthday. He passed away almost nineteen years ago, but I remember him always saying that I was the best birthday present he ever got. Of course, back then I imagine the gifts may not have been all that spectacular - I'm guessing I only had to compete with a plastic change sorter, or another clip-on bow tie. I'm joking of course, but it makes me remember a woman I knew who was set to have a Wolf 8-burner stove delivered on her birthday, a gift from her husband. She seemed truly concerned that she wouldn't be there since she was set to gift birth on that same day to her second child, and I honestly think she was considering inducing an early delivery so that she'd be home to welcome that shiny new appliance to the family.

I share this birthday with a few other people. Besides my dad there's my sister-in-law's brother, the wife of one of Rigel's friends, and my favorite singer Mary J. Blige. I'd like to point out that not only do her and I share the same birthday, but the same first three letters of our first name, and the same middle initial. Coincidence, or some cosmic force joining us together in spirit? I'm hoping that if I ever meet Mary J. and tell her about all our similarities she'll be so excited she'll invite me back to her mansion and give me a Mercedes.

Update: Nicole Richie just had her baby, so now I share my birthday with her daughter, too. Did I tell you she's a close personal friend of mine?

My awesome husband let me sleep in today while he got the kids up and took them to school, made me breakfast, and then took over all household and child-related duties while I went out to see a movie. He's taking us all out to dinner along with a few friends tonight, and then whisking me away for the weekend. Am I a lucky woman or what? I'm totally going to stop beating him after this weekend, I swear.

I went to see Juno, which is the greatest movie, ever. I know I have a reputation for saying this after every movie I see, but this time I really mean it. It was everything - funny, sad, touching, edgy, biting - and had a great soundtrack on top of everything else. I'd have to say I may even like it more than my other favorite movie Little Miss Sunshine, and definitely more than the last movie I saw - National Treasure: Book of Secrets. I only saw that one because we were on a trip with some friends and it was the only movie playing at the local theater. The kids all liked it though, so we held our tongues until we got home and then the adults all sat around with a bottle of wine talking about all the things in the movie that didn't make sense and all the unnecessary plot twists, and can you believe Jon Voight is Angelina Jolie's dad? My friend Lisa was especially upset about Nicolas Cage's bad toupee, and seemed even more upset that I didn't know he was wearing one. Seriously, I just thought he was using cheap conditioner.

Getting back to today, I'm one of those neurotic, not-evolved people who isn't comfortable discussing my age with strangers, but let's just say I'm younger than Madonna and older than Britney. I look old enough to have kids, but apparently young enough that I got carded last week when I ordered a glass of wine at a steakhouse, and it wasn't because they thought I was eligible for the senior discount. I'm sure I'll divulge my age someday, although with my birthday and my actual age revealed on my blog that psycho who's after me out there will have a better chance or getting my forty nine dollars. I guess I'd better rethink that.

I'm going to go get ready for dinner now - I've got to brush my hair and apply a trowel-full of that new expensive wrinkle cream I bought at the mall last week. My sister sent over the biggest basket of cookies and muffins I've ever seen, so I'll kiss my diet goodbye and have a couple dozen brownies along with my early evening cappuccino. Our friends will be here in a few minutes, and then we'll go out to dinner where I'll have a couple of martinis and say a toast to this wonderful life that I'm so grateful for.

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  1. Happy Birthday from one pantsed blogger to another.
    Love ya bitch.
    That's hawt.

  2. Happy Birthday to you and your identity-thieving cyber-stalker. When we are old enough that men only want us for our credit-rating, do we get a hat or something?

  3. Happy Birthday! Hope you are having a wonderful evening out. (Birthday cookies have zero calories. That makes them way better than veggies.)

  4. Happy Happy Happy Birthday! I hope your day was awesome...sounds like it was! :)

  5. happy birthday, spm!

    Now, hand over that forty-nine dollars you owe me.


  6. Happy birthday! Sounds like a wonderful time.

  7. Happy Belated Birthday! Sounds like the perfect day to me.

    My brother highly recommended Juno to me and I have yet to see it.

    I say splurge and spend that $49 on something truly decadent. :)

  8. enjoy the brownies - happy happy birthday!

  9. Happy Birthday!

    (I also loved Juno -bought the soundtrack even...)

    I found out I was pregnant with The Mayor on my birthday and found out about The Rooster on Christmas Day. They WERE (are) the best gifts ever.

    (Though they are loud as sh*t.)

  10. Happy birthday!!

    Nicolas Cage? A toupee? HUH?

  11. Happy Birthday!! May this be the start of your best year ever. Until next year.

  12. Happy, happy birthday!

  13. You can keep your age a secret for as long as you want, but you should keep in mind that as long as you do, you're officially older than me.

    And I'm OLD.

    Happy Birthday! (a couple days late)
    (sorry about that)

  14. Happy Belated Birthday! Hope 2008 treats you well! :-)

  15. Happy Belated Birthday -- I hope your husband was fawning over you all weekend!!

  16. Happy Happy Birthday!
    Just saw Juno and LURVED it! Went straight to Borders afterward to buy the kickin soundtrack.

  17. happy belated birthday!!!

    and if you still have that $49.00 in your bank account - can i borrow it?

  18. Happy birthday! You got carded? You must look far younger than Britney....


  19. I'll echo Catherine . . . Happy Belated Birthday Sweatpants! :)

    Ain't life grand?

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