Thursday, May 10, 2007

Nuthin But A Name Thang.

Recently the girls and their bandmates - another pair of sisters - changed the name of their band. They decided that The Sunflower Sisters was too soft, not edgy enough for the rocker grrrl image they're working. They decided on Off Limits, and as far as Rigel and the other dad are concerned this is the perfect name for their daughters, four beautiful tween girls who should certainly remain off-limits to all the little boys who will be flinging their Spider Man briefs onstage. Rigel's just disappointed they didn't go for his other suggestions, "Now Scram" "Hands Off I Mean It" or "My Dad Will Kick Your Ass." He's working on a logo for the band and it's really cute - it's a drawing of the girls with their guitars and in front of them are both dads holding shotguns.

Rigel thinks the band he's in should change their name as well, since he feels it's something they rushed into. They were coming up on their first gig and didn't have a name yet, and decided to call themselves Nine2Midnight after their rehearsal hours on Sunday nights. He's always on the lookout for alternates, and sometimes when we're listening to the radio and he hears a name he'll say, "Damn. I wish we thought of that." He likes one name so much he was thinking about ripping them off but changed his mind when he realized that people may remember a band called Led Zeppelin from a few years back.

We heard a song the other day and after it was over the DJ said the band's name was 'Finger Eleven.' What kind of crazy name is that? I found out later 'eleventh finger' refers to the still-forming male genitals in a baby boy's sonogram. But still - what's with bands naming themselves after their peckers? Whitesnake, Tool - I can just imagine some drunk rocker staring at his lap and then naming his band after the last thing he sees before he passes out. I'll be there's a band somewhere right now recording a demo that's calling themselves, 'My Belt Buckle.'

But the whole band thing is starting to get on my nerves a little bit. All I hear around here is, "My band THIS and my band THAT like they're trying to rub in the fact that I'm the only one in this family who's not in a band. What's so great about it, anyways? And how hard could it be? So, I don't play an instrument or sing a note, did that ever stop Britney? Or Paris? Or anyone on the first ten weeks of American Idol?

That's it - I'm starting a band. I'm sure I can round up a couple of the PTA moms to back me in some dope cover versions of a couple of my favorite Snoop Dog tunes. Can you see us out there, jackin the bake sale with our rendition of "Drop It Like It's Hot" and "Nuthin But A G Thang?"

Of course, the hard part will be coming up with a name. SweatpantsHo didn't get much response, but thank goodness I found this useful device, and it came up with these:

• Sweatpants Breath
• Keen Sweatpants And The Miserable Lion
• Aesthete Of The Sweatpants Air
• Sweatpants Nipple
• Sweatpants Loop Of The Dandy Mixture
• Fighting Sweatpants
• Sweatpants Vapor
• Pathetic Sweatpants And The Breath

So what's the name of your band?

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  1. I just heard a band called "Saliva" interviewed on the radio and decided I am officially old because I was like, "ew."

  2. Move over lady.

    I'll be rockin that bake sale as:

    Functional Shelly And the Incoming Figure

  3. Gristle of the Cabbage.

    We rock the... produce aisle?

  4. How about

    Crusting Clan And The Crying Eskimo?

    Too fun!

  5. wait, wait, OMG I did it again...

    Clan Orchid Of The Bloated Rag!

  6. Annie Eye Of The Eloquent Goat



  7. "Butt-ugly Mommy De Gallo And The Fall"


  8. Mine is The Little Black Triangles.

  9. Helpless Eleventh And The Rational Midget

    Hell, that's not a band name. That's a description of a conversation with my four year old.

  10. Dotty Nana & the Lowlifes

    Uh huh. Edgy, non?

    Got your guitar yet? I'm going to master the triangle this week and if you have any band vacancies, call me.

  11. Farting Vissi D'arte.

    They're lining up out the door already.

  12. Ruth Dynaho and the Miserable Nipples

  13. "Loud Christina" so damn fitting too.

  14. Sleepy Blonde Mom...I'm totally into that! ;)

  15. # Dangerous Urban Urchin
    # Proto Urban Urchin
    # Urban Urchin Mistress
    # Urban Urchin Pupil
    # Urban Urchin Septum
    # Urban Urchin Civilian
    # Urban Urchin Injury
    # Urban Urchin Pharoah
    # Urban Urchin Caution And The Ugly Fender
    # Urban Urchin Crate

  16. peace within the night.

    read into it whatever you want.

  17. Just Five More Minutes . . .

  18. Yeah...Eleven Finger (Tool, Whitesnake) reminds me of the band "Lovin' Spoonful". And yes....that's exactly what it refers to. I'll have to think hard on what I would name my band. I didn't even know I had one.

  19. Um. I got 'Active Teeth' which is cool in a scary, vampirey kind of way. I think. Considering that the words I put in were 'fuck me running', I'm not sure how I got those results.

  20. 'Active Teeth' was me. I'm an idiot with premature submission syndrome.

  21. Kim Plumber
    Kim Spinach Of The Brave Step-sister
    Dead Kim

    WTF? Even my computer generated band names suck.

  22. HA! The first two I got were:

    # Table Butt
    # Fourth Table Of The Puffy Doctor

    HA! Happy Mother's Day, Marsha! I hope you have a great day.

  23. Hot Pink Handbasket.

    Aw yeah. It's got dollar signs written all over it.

    (Your 'chumbawamba is the worst band name ever' tag is awesome.)

  24. Metrodad Onions
    Metrodad Insult
    Pure Metrodad and The Red Blink

    Yeah...those sound about right!

  25. 1) Sayre Beaver and the Butt-Ugly Cheese
    2) Sayre Bath
    3) Sayre of the Pudgy
    4) Tenth Sayre of the Trans-Jaw
    5) Sayre of the Slipping Food
    6) Sensible Sayre and the Violet Fellowship

    Uh oh. I think I see a trend here.

  26. Oilbath was the band that I was to play the tamborine in when we were in high school (all the cool girls play the tamborine)!

    Anyway, dont' worry about their name, at least they aren't calling themselves THE NAKED SISTERS BAND! WTF? Nickelodeon?


  27. Girl Hampster. Now that is catchy!

  28. I love it! So much fun!

  29. My favorite out of the list: Bah Dwarf of the Quick Edition.

    Rock on!!

  30. Don't forget some sort of slang for your 'gina. But I do like the SweatpantsHo!

  31. Me? In a band? I'm afraid that might not be possible, I might shatter the glasses and pierce lots of ear drums.

  32. 'Trans Am Apocalypse'

    ( I have a 1984 black trans am and I never let anyone forget it).

  33. I want to do my own version of that "candy shop" 50 cent song. It's gotta funky beat but NEVER would I want my kids singing along to that one. I like the name DEPRIVED (as in sleep) for my band. It's got that edgey, feeling sorry for myself thing that seems to be so popular with the kids these days. Rock on everybody, rock on.

  34. Sweatpants Nipple...Hahahah! I know, I am such a child. :)
    Some of mine were:
    Shivering Snail
    Stolen Moments Amplifier
    Those kinda suck....

  35. Ok..I had to do my name now...
    Pattie of the Breast (see? I shouldn't have made fun of your nipple one!
    Also Pattie and the Vulgar Breeze...heheh..this could be a bit addicting!

  36. My official band name, according to the BandNameGenerator:

    "Prehensile Pickle"

    Speaking of Tool... ahem...

  37. hmm, maybe you should start a blogging band? :)

  38. Garden of the Geek Gravy.

    I think it sounds pretty happenin'.

    Once again, your last tag sent me over the edge.

  39. I added you to my blogroll you feckless harpie. Oh and I think this post would be perfect for HMC. Want to?

  40. I'm going with Seething Surcie and The Bong Impact

  41. Mine came up with these two fine names:

    Nibbled Hollly
    Hollly Meat

    Hmm...this name site has a one track mind: eating.

  42. Mom Army And The Cheerful Blizzard. I kinda like it -- perhaps this shall be the name of my next blog.

  43. This was one funny post, Sweatpants Nipple. Loved it. i am sorry, I can't be in a band. My conractual agreement with my love of taking long naps on the weekends won't allow it. :)

    This comment had me laughing out loud and snorting, "Um. I got 'Active Teeth' which is cool in a scary, vampirey kind of way. I think. Considering that the words I put in were 'fuck me running', I'm not sure how I got those results.

    5/12/2007 9:28 AM
    Contrary said...
    'Active Teeth' was me. I'm an idiot with premature submission syndrome."

    OHMYWORD. **giggle giggle**

  44. I've never been able to come up with a decent name for my blog...don't even want to try a band name:0

  45. I really, really, DESPERATELY wanted to name my band Chrome when I was in the band phase.

    I also liked Milk a lot.

    yeah. I have no idea what I was thinking, either.

  46. I love that site. Thanks. I think I need to start a band too. With a name like Phoenix Pasta or Moaning Phoenix or maybe Phoenix Accidental Of The Private Mock, I'm sure to make it big.

    Personaly I like Fighting Sweatpants. It has a sort of rockish ring to it.


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