Friday, March 10, 2006

Home Sweet Home.

Tonight Kira and Kiyomi are going to a slumber party to celebrate the birthday of one of their best friends, Samantha. This won't be the first time we've been away from them, since once a year Rigel and I dupe some unsuspecting soul into watching them for twenty-four hours while we steal away for our anniversary. Also, they've been on sleepovers individually but not together, and this is only the second time since we've had children (ten years) that we will be spending the night in our home without the two of them. The first time was when we were moving into this house and our friends took them overnight while we dealt with the chaos. That almost doesn't count, though, since it's fairly impossible to feel romantic when you're surrounded by five thousand moving boxes and obsessively scrubbing the toilets because, oh God, strangers' butts have sat on them.

Tonight we'll start off with dinner with friends, and after that the possibilities are endless. Once we've come home, changed into our evening gown and smoking jacket and filled our cognac snifters, here are some things that we could do that aren't possible with a seven and nine year old underfoot:

Tantric sex while hanging from the chandelier. (Oh, wait, we don't have a chandelier. Oh, wait, we actually have time to go buy a chandelier.)

Sit out by the fire pit without having to roast marshmallows or yell, "I'm not going to tell you again. The cat does not like fire."

Go naked. Without anyone pointing and laughing. (Rigel, is that asking too much?)

Have a conversation without the theme to "SpongeBob" playing in the background.

Give each other a kiss without hearing, "Ewwwwww!" (Unless the neighbors are around.)

Go to the bathroom without feeling like you're being watched. (Once again, unless the neighbors are around.)

Sleep soundly knowing we will not be awakened to dispense water or any varieties of Triaminic.

Go an entire evening without hearing "Can I have a snack?" unless it is used as a euphemism.

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  1. Sister-Girl, Terrance and I had a whole conversation OVER The Suite Life of Zack and Cody today, so I feel ya on the Spongebob.

    Ooooo, I hope the tantric chandelier sex doesn't involve goats.

    Sadly, every time T and I are alone...we fall asleep.

  2. Please get some curtains.

    Your Neighbors

  3. Wow. I am insanely jealous and at the same time, very happy for both you and your husband. Can I recommend birth control? I believe it was tantric sex and a chandelier that got me in the mess I'm in and all I'm saying is, BE CAREFUL!

  4. Times like this make you happy you're not married to a goat, don't they?

    Have fun!

  5. Heh. "Can I have a snack?" Suuuure, little lady, how about a Ding Dong?

    Sorry, it's possible that too little sleep makes me think like a 14 year old boy.

  6. ENJOY! When those times come - too far and too few between - it is such sweet luxury! As time goes by, they increase in number and then one day you realize that you don't "need" that kind of time any more. It sure is nice to re-connect with Hub ...

  7. Oh, so much to do an so little time! Do let us know what you ended up doing.

  8. Tantric chandelier sex might be more feasible if you lived in a pineapple under the sea.


    Have fun.

  9. LIVE IT UP, woman. Have that sex, that snack and walk around naked with your curtains OPEN. You go!

  10. Have a great time ALONE! I know how important that can be. Go buy the chandelier!!

  11. Ooh, cognac snifters. Well aren't you just Mr. and Mrs. Fancypants. Enjoy your night. And tomorrow, I want to see before and after pictures of that chandelier.

  12. Chandelier sex - highly overrated. I say enjoy the quiet.

  13. I have agreed to watch my sister kids (age 3 and 9 mos) for an entire weekend in april (their anniversary weekend). At first it was for one night (they're going to a wedding on the Cape) but kate sort of begged for another night so that they could enjoy a whole weekend/not feel rushed/maybe do it. So I said sure.

    My other sister said she heard what I'd agreed to and said in a little evil laugh, "sucka, bet Sarah asks, "Aunt Jennie? why are mommy and daddy running from the house laughing and pointing? Why is there a moving truck in our driveway? hey, where is our couch?"

    I have a feeling there will be no forwarding address provided for me either.

    Good for you - hope you used it to the best of your ability! 10 years?! Jesus, that is a long ass time to wai to be alone.

  14. Here's hoping your weekend was loaded with lots of adult-grade snacks and tomfoolery and that you give us a thumbs up or down real soon. :)

  15. (Target) Evening gown, smoking jacket and brandy snifters: $79.99

    (Target) Chandelier $129.99

    Adult conversation, private visit to the potty,
    glass of before, during and after sex vitamin enhanced water for two : priceless.

    Oh happy Day!

  16. oooooh! I'm so jealous! I hope you guys enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to having one of those child-free nights, hopefully I don't have to wait ten years....


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