Evil Drives An SUV

Okay, so I'm driving into our local gas station, having already endured a particularly icky morning. It's raining AGAIN, I'm PMSing - what an exciting combination for a volatile day - and just as I'm pulling up to a pump, the only pump available on the side of my van where the gas hole (or whatever you call that thing) is, this SUV CUTS ME OFF AND PULLS INTO THAT VERY SPOT. Yeah, normally I would just let it slide, but feeling like Sally Field in Norma Rae, I really needed to right some injustices on this particularly bleak day.

So, I manage to maneuver into another spot, which required lots of backwards forwards maneuvers and now I am really pissed, partly because my backwards forwards maneuvering skills really suck. I see the guy get out of his SUV and get in line, and he's one of these O.C./ WB wannabes, and I decide not to pay at the pump, like I usually do but skedoodle right up into that line behind him. I wait until he pays for his gas and Altoids or whatever those O.C. plebeians suck on while they're driving their SUVs and cutting off volatile PMSing moms in minivans. I wait until he turns around and then I say, "Hey, THAT WAS REALLY RUDE. You CUT ME OFF right when I was pulling into that spot." His blank stare, and then, "Dude, it's nothing personal." Okay, I'm not even sure he called me 'dude' but, NOTHING PERSONAL? Who do you think was driving that van, dude - my pet monkey? A life-sized inflatable facsimile of a human? No, ME, a PERSON, you feeble-minded piece of clay. Anyways, before I could muster a fitting, cutting comeback he ran back to his car and drove away. So, he wasn't EVEN buying gas - doesn't he know if you're not buying gas you always, always park illegally, parallel to the cashier window?

All I have to say to you, Mr. Lucky jeans, Gen-X, Slacker Boy - you are SO lucky I didn't have my camera phone with me or your license plate would be all over this blog.

Thanks, I feel better now.

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