Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Here's one of those posts where I try and make my life look interesting

I'm going to write one of those entries that condenses the events of the past few weeks or so into a few short, neat paragraphs. This makes my life look way more interesting than it is because it's action-packed and gives the impression that I'm doing something other than updating my Facebook profile every five minutes. You may even say to yourself, "Holy crap that Sweatpantsmom has got an interesting life!" which is what I say to myself to keep myself from crying while I'm scrubbing the toilet bowl.

HOW TO LET A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD DOWN EASY

Kira recently got asked out on her first date. I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating only because I didn't get to explain how the boy asked her out which is so - for lack of a better word - cute. Apparently he found out who sat next to Kira in math and texted that girl during class and asked her to ask Kira out for him. I told you it was cute.

Then, when the girl relayed the message and Kira said 'no,' he told the girl that now he felt like an ass and to tell Kira he was just kidding. I don't think he meant for the girl to relay the 'ass' part of the message but she did, and when Kira told me this story I immediately felt sorry for the poor guy. I asked her if she was at least nice when she turned down, and she said she told the girl to tell him, "I'm too young to date." Is that brilliant or what? She had already learned to let the guy down easy with the teen version of, "It's not you, it's me."

I KEPT UP WITH A KARDASHIAN

kim-kardashian-shawn-johnson-dancing-with-the-stars-finaleA couple of weeks ago I interviewed Kim Kardashian for Genlux magazine. She showed up without any makeup and was still beautiful, and the best part was that she ate like a real person, because I have this thing about not trusting anyone who doesn't eat. You'll have to read the article when it comes out to see what she ordered, but let's just say for once I didn't feel lonely while chowing down on my fried chicken.

Also, she talked about O.J. Simpson (her dad Robert was O.J.'s best friend and also part of his defense team) which was really intriguing, and surprising since I wasn't sure if she would be willing to divulge anything about it. When I was telling Rigel about it Kira overheard and said, "What? You talked about orange juice?" I told her she certainly wouldn't get asked out on any more text dates with that kind of sarcasm.

STEP ASIDE KATIE COURIC

shawn-johnson-wins-dancing-with-the-stars-finaleWe were invited to a Lunchables event and Kiyomi got to interview Shawn Johnson, the Olympic gold medalist and Dancing With The Stars finalist. I think she did a good job, considering the kid is only ten and this was her first interview. (I'm talking about Kiyomi, not Shawn.) When we got to the event Kiyomi was pretty nervous, but she walked right up to a Los Angeles Times reporter and started chatting him up and pretty soon he was divulging what kind of Lunchables he liked best. I think this kid's going to go far - imagine if that was Charlie Sheen and he was talking about hookers. CLICK HERE to see Kiyomi's interview with Shawn.


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12 comments:

  1. No wonder we haven't gone out for coffee/sushi/chocolate cream pie lately!

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  2. Not only do I not trust people that don't eat, I often like to assume inside my big head, five feet above my big butt, that they are boring. How do good ideas and funny thoughts get there otherwise?

    Kudos to the daughter let down. Much better than the wooden leg story I often would rely on to state why I couldn't dance with them.

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  3. NorCal Sistah5/19/2009 8:16 PM

    Your life is always way more interesting than mine - but then that doesn't take much. Thanks for sharing what has been keeping you so busy lately -- I am always exhausted after hearing all the things you have been doing -- but once again, that doesn't take much to make me feel exhausted! Look forward to getting the full details when I see you this weekend.

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  4. I think it takes some serious discipline to update your facebook profile every 5 mins. I love that you admittedly declare yourself a "sweatpants mom" and that you eat fried chicken while interviewing Kim K. I prefer to think of my sweatpants as "work out attire," although I don't think I have worked out since way before I had my second baby-she's now 1 1/2, let's not do the math. You are hilarious.

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  5. Happy to know Kim Kardashian eats like a regular person... I knew I loved her!

    You really do lead an interesting life!

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  6. OMG - cannot wait to read what Kim Kardashian said about OJ. Does she think he did it? What about the glove? What happened to Kato Kaelin?

    (P.s. Glad Kira said no. A real gentleman emails, not texts, for a date.)

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  7. Your weekend life really DID seem interesting. I was cleaning pee off of my floor and slicing foods into bite sized pieces ALL WEEKEND! You win.

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  8. Bravo to little Kiyomi for her interviewing skills.

    But excuse me if I'm bitter that Gilles was robbed of his DWTS trophy! Damn you Shawn! Damn you voting public!

    Ahem.

    -annie

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  9. You are raising one great gal! Well actually, two great gals!!!

    Keeping up w/ Kim.....
    damn, I'm impressed~ Loves it!

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  10. I have three life policies. The first? I don't trust people who don't eat.

    We are on the same page with that one!

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  11. Dude, I was totally Kim Kardashian's English teacher when she was in seventh grade. (I also taught her sister Kourtney. OJ's kids went to our school, too, and I saw Nicole Brown Simpson pick them up every afternoon.) Kim was astoundingly stunning even then. (Though I must say she was a bit of a snot. But she was 13 at the time, so she had an excuse.) I'm glad to hear she's a healthy eater.

    My husband and I have mused about how much money I might be able to get on the internet for my class picture that shows a full-body shot of the young celeb in a Catholic school uniform. But in order to sell it, I would actually have to brave the attic boxes and find it, so it's probably not going to happen.

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  12. Well, I think your life is soooo cool! And, I can't believe your daughter got to interview Shawn! And, well, you hobnob w/ the famous peeps all the time so it's sure to give her someone to look up to!

    I kinda agree w/ ya too on the whole eating thing. I mean, how else are you sustaining if ya don't eat! Some voodoo type chanting or something??

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