Not what I thought it would be

I wrote the post below three years ago, right before Kira was about to turn thirteen. I just came across it again, and felt like I had to re-post it. At the time I was filled with dread, visions of a teenage apocalypse running through my brain. I thought I was about to fall into the abyss, plunging into a world of teen pregnancy, tongue piercings and secret boyfriends. I imagined my beautiful daughter suddenly morphing into a dark, sullen creature who spent days locked in her room scrawling Black Sabbath lyrics on her arm with a Sharpie while I curled up into a ball and sobbed in the hallway.

Well, none of that came true. (Except for the sobbing in the hallway part, that is, although that's usually due to my internet being down or my inability to find a lint roller.) Both my girls are teens now, and are happy, well-adjusted kids with tons of ambition and great friends. The teenage apocalypse never came, and although there's lots of time for things to take an unexpected turn, I truly feel we're on a good path. And besides - they don't even like Black Sabbath.

(And get this – a couple of years after I wrote this post Kiyomi ended up taking drama lessons from Evan Rachel Wood's mom. If that isn't a circle-of-life moment I don't know what is.)

Flung into the mosh pit of teendom 

Five years ago a friend and I went to see the movie Thirteen .  It starred Evan Rachel Wood as a seemingly well-adjusted thirteen-year-old who falls into the wrong crowd and is seduced by a world of drugs, sex and petty crime.  At the time, my oldest daughter was seven and my friend’s daughter was five, but we both sat hunched in the theater, watching most of the movie through our fingers and horrified at what certainly would be our future.  I think it was the first time ever that I didn’t finish my tub of popcorn, and we both sat frozen, occasionally turning to each other saying hysterical things like, “I’m totally going to check her for piercings!“ and “No sleepovers ever!”  Forget Saw, or Halloween or any of those other horror movies; this was hands down the scariest film I had ever seen.

As you can imagine the movie didn’t let up in its gloomy portrayal of teen life.  And as we all know, Wood went on to date Marilyn Manson, and then was recently seen locking lips with Mickey Rourke. Oh wait – that was in real life.  Doesn’t matter – by the end of the movie my friend and I were convinced that the only sane choice we had was to invest in a couple of sturdy chastity belts and lock our girls in the house until they turned 30. 

Fast forward  five years and here I am, with a daughter that is about to turn the big 1-3 in just two months.  I’m happy to say she didn’t turn out anything like the girl in the movie; she gets straight A’s, has a group of nice, loyal friends and her interests lie more in music and art than in boys and piercings.  But I can’t help but feel she’s on the brink of a huge change, one that I don’t feel my husband and I are quite ready for.  Looking back, every milestone up until now – learning to walk, starting kindergarten, graduating to middle school – while huge, didn’t seem to be as heavy with the prospect of upheaval as becoming a teenager does.  And no surprise, since everything tells us that the teen years are some of the most difficult to navigate.  We’ve all heard the phrase, “Just wait till they become teenagers!” since our kids were born, and every show we see on TV depicting teen life makes it seem as if they’re all a bunch of hormone-crazed, drugged-out, skateboarding miscreants who like nothing better than to make their parents’ lives a living hell.  Why, if I didn’t know any better I’d think it was perfectly common for your fifteen-year-old to come home and announce they were moving in with their 35-year-old gym teacher.

My husband and I keep saying to each other, “So far, so good,” but as it inches closer to her thirteenth birthday our words are beginning to sound more like a panicked question than a comforting thought.  In other words, it’s really sounding more like, “So far she hasn’t told us she hates us or gotten a secret tattoo or stolen our booze but who knows what’s going to happen next week?”  See what I mean? Not comforting at all.

But seeing as I never got around to inventing that time machine, and altering a birth certificate is a crime, there’s no avoiding our beautiful daughter’s leap into the teenage years.  We’ll have to try our best to keep her on the right path, and trust that our parenting up until now has prepared her to make the right choices in life.  We're going to strive to keep the open, respectful relationship we've worked hard at cultivating, and hopefully by the time she's entered adulthood my husband and I will still be able to turn to each other and say, “So far, so good.”  And maybe then we'll even think about unlocking that chastity belt.

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'The Hunger Games' – Let The Giveaway Begin

Read my review of The Hunger Games on Celebrity Teen Scoop.
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Maybe you've heard of this little movie coming out called The Hunger Games. Just a small film, based on a book that sold a gazzilion copies and now has people everywhere eagerly anticipating the movie's release on March 23. There will be a tiny crowd waiting outside, only in the trillions.

To be honest, I've never read the books the movie is based on, but my teenagers have and are going to be amongst that thronging crowd on opening night. We've already got our tickets for the 12:10 showing, and they've got their excuses lined up to tell their teachers the next day explaining why they had to miss first period that morning – they had a fever. Hunger Games fever.

To get you infected with the fever (it's not as painful as it sounds, and I promise there's no blisters involved) I'm giving away a Hunger Games prize package...Click here to enter

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Broke and in love? Bring your Valentine to Cirque du Soleil's OVO for FREE!

A couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to get invited to see Cirque du Soleil's latest production, OVO. I'm a big fan of Cirque du Soleil, but I have to admit to having a little bit of skepticism with each new show, wondering if they'll be able to top their previous production. Will the acrobats fly a little further, the jugglers juggle a little higher? I keep thinking the only way they'll outdo themselves is if they pick up the entire audience and hurl them into a huge waiting net in the parking lot, feed them dinner and then plunk them back into their seats.

Read more about the show and the FREE ticket here!

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Hollywood Swingin'

I've been humming Hollywood Swingin' – the old Kool And The Gang song – all night. I thought I'd share it just so there's someone else who has it embedded in their brain, compelling you to run out and buy a jumpsuit and a glitter headband. I'm assuming you know the song, or at least who Kool And The Gang is, but if not here's a video to school you. (Don't worry - I won't break into the story about how I saw them at the Greek Theater way back when and stood next to lead singer James 'JT' Taylor while I helped myself to some eggrolls in the green room. That story deserves its own post.)



But I'm getting off topic, because the main reason this song is running through my head is that when I got home this evening (after having dinner on Hollywood Boulevard) I saw the best news headline ever in the history of news headlines:

Cops hunt Catwoman, alien after Capt. Jack Sparrow hurt in Hollywood brawl

What.

The story is that several of the costumed characters that hustle tourists on Hollywood Boulevard got into a brawl, and eventually a man dressed as "Pirates of the Caribbean" character Capt. Jack Sparrow got pepper-sprayed. The three that Sparrow was fighting with – Catwoman, an alien and a second pirate – fled the scene and were being sought by police.

You would think they'd be easy to find, but you'd be surprised how many people you see dressed as Catwoman, an alien or a pirate just walking down the street. This is Hollywood, after all. I once stood in line at Starbucks on Sunset Boulevard behind someone dressed as Batman from the waist up, and a cowboy from the waist down. I'm pretty sure the Caped Crusader never wore fringed chaps with a codpiece.

I'll have to check the news to see if they ever caught Catwoman, the alien and the second pirate. I'm betting someone's already putting together a YouTube video of the three of them throwing a few punches at Jack Sparrow.

Hey, hey hey – what ya got to say? Hollywood swingin'.

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And visions of doppio-espresso-macchiatos danced in their heads

Happy Holidays! Nothing like an impersonal blog posting with an embedded photo to warm your spirits and convey the true meaning of the season!

Wishing you a wonderful holiday, and may it be filled with joy, health and the company of those you love.

And may you never be standing behind me in line at Starbucks because yes, it will seem like I'm ordering that many cups of coffee.

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Making me cry daily

Here's a short movie that Kiyomi made. The first time Rigel and I saw it, it made me want to cry (and Rigel, too.) Mostly out of pride, and partly because of the emotion she manages to evoke with the music and images. Also, I wasn't expecting something so polished since she set it up with "So, you wanna see my movie I made that kind of blows?" How can you not get emotional after that?



Production note: That round frame with the photo of the Eiffel Tower is what sat on top of our wedding cake some 18 years ago. More crying.

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Kiyomi made a film about pancakes why?

Kiyomi and her friend Maya made this cute little stop-motion film about making pancakes. Why pancakes? Because pancakes are awesome and tasty.



They used a still camera, painstakingly moving their props around in small increments and then shooting it frame by frame. It took them forever, much longer than it would take you to make a batch of pancakes in regular time. I think they even ate those pancakes, in spite of the fact that they had been touched and prodded for hours. Because you should never waste a good batch of pancakes. Why? Because pancakes are awesome and tasty.

But her next stop-motion film will be much, much easier. Why?...Read more...

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Man in brown costume dancing kills

I can't stop watching this. And I don't care what my girls say –  this is funny as hell. I tried to explain it, but they don't seem to understand – this is DOMO. DANCING. They just gave me the same look as the woman in the photo, rolled their eyes and then went back to their homework. Kids these days.


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You had to be there

When Kiyomi was in elementary school she had a love-hate relationship with a girl I'll call E. They'd known each other since first grade, and went from intensely hating each other to being best buddies who couldn't wait to get together on the weekends for a playdate. While E could be sweet, she could also get aggressive and I know at least a couple of moms who had discouraged their daughters from hanging around her too much. She did have a bad habit of digging her little 9-year-old fingernails firmly into other kids' wrists.

Her parents weren't the most involved parents, but they weren't the worst, either. I knew them casually and thought they were friendly enough, and E seemed like a pretty happy kid in spite of always craving attention. But don't they all? Rigel and I often remarked that she was one of those kids you just wanted to like – that little button nose and bobbed hair and she was super polite, in an Eddie Haskell-ish kind of way.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago - Kiyomi was getting a 'Student Of The Month' Award along with a few other kids and there was a small ceremony in the auditorium towards the end of the school day. I definitely wanted to be there since she's graduating this year and I figured it might be the last of these types of ceremonies where I could get all teary-eyed and embarrass the hell out of her. But I promised I wouldn't clap too loudly and I left my big foam hand at home, the one that has, "#1 Girl" silkscreened on its pointer finger.

I took a seat and a few minutes later someone ran up and hugged me. It was E. She and Kiyomi hadn't hung around much since they started middle school three years ago, and I had only seen her a handful of times on campus. She said she was getting an award, too, and I told her how tall she'd gotten and how pretty she looked. Then I asked her where her mom or dad were, so I could say a quick hello before the ceremony started.

After I asked, I immediately wanted to take my words back because she looked so uncomfortable. "Um, they aren't here. They're too busy." Her words trailed off, and I tried my best to change the subject by asking her about her hat. Because I'm smooth like that.

The ceremony got under way, and the teacher who was leading the whole thing started off by telling all the kids to go sit with their parents. A reasonable request, but I knew there were at least a few kids in the audience who didn't have anyone from their family there and it made me cringe. (Only the first of things this teacher did that made me cringe, but that's a topic for another time.)

All these kids are a supportive bunch, so there was no shortage of clapping and shout-outs when the kids went up to accept their awards, whether their families were there or not. But then the teacher had to start talking about how grateful all the kids should be to their parents, who were so supportive and had taken time out from their busy days to be at the ceremony, and how they needed to give their parents a big hug. NOW.

Hugs from teenagers are hard to come by these days, so I gladly took mine from Kiyomi, but still couldn't help but feel badly for E and the other kids who were there alone. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder, and it was E standing in front of me.

"Can I give you a hug?"

My heart just about broke into a million pieces. I gave her a big hug, and then I talked her into taking a couple of silly pictures with Kiyomi.

I'm willing to give the parents the benefit of the doubt. We're all busy, maybe her parents just absolutely couldn't get away from work, maybe E didn't let on how much she wanted them there. There are a mind-boggling number of events that parents are expected to attend throughout the school year and there's no way we can make it to all of them. I even skipped Back-To-School night this year and I didn't even have a really good reason, except that I was exhausted, although I was ready with a carefully thought-out "Sinkhole ate our house" excuse in case any of the teachers inquired.

But this was kind of a big deal. There are over two thousand kids in this school, so for a handful to be singled out is an honor, one that doesn't happen every day and from what I've seen they pretty much stop with the awards once high school starts. After all of the hand-wringing and worrying about our kids doing well in school I can't imagine not being there when all their hard work is recognized.

I regret that the teacher didn't choose his words more carefully and wish he hadn't put so much emphasis on the parents physically being there. I wish he'd had the sensitivity to say something comforting to the kids who were there alone. I'm kind of kicking myself that I didn't ask E to come sit with us earlier in the ceremony. I wish middle school and being 13 wasn't so damn awkward and hard already without some sad moment getting magnified and maybe hurting more than it should. But most of all I really wish someone had shown up for E.

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Winnie the Pooh (and Breakfast, Too!) at the El Capitan Theatre

Who knew my teenagers would be so excited to meet Winnie-The-Pooh? I was invited to a screening of Disney's new Winnie the Pooh movie at the El Capitan Theater as well as a pre-show character breakfast at the Disney Soda Fountain and Studio Store and I had initially thought I would pass it up – while my girls are still very much into Disneyland, I thought they'd roll their eyes at seeing an animated movie and the prospect of meeting a big, sweet bear in a red shirt.

Boy, was I wrong.

The last time I saw them this excited was when they discovered that the local high school's boy's cross country team runs right through our neighborhood, shirtless. They didn't even balk when I told them we'd have to get up early on a Saturday in order to make it to the breakfast by 9:15. Who knew that Winnie the Pooh was such a chick magnet?

Read all about it here!

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