Saturday, April 16, 2005

How To Avoid Having Me Call You A Turd
Under My Breath

DO NOT honk at me while waiting for my parking space, when you see that I am trying to safely load my two children into the car. I know what they say about men that drive Hummers and their smalll wangers, but don't prove that your brain is sized accordingly.

DO NOT try to gain my sympathy when you tell me you can't find a dress for under a thousand dollars in LA, when as I am listening to you I am looking down at my twelve dollar Target skirt.

DO NOT invite my child to a bowling party and then proceed to tell me how much it is costing you per child to host this party because not only will I call you a turd, I will write about you on my blog and call you TACKY.

DO NOT give me the evil eye when I say excuse me and try to get a gallon of milk out of the dairy section at Trader Joes when you have been standing there for a freakin eternity talking on your cell phone and you are starting to MELT THE BUTTER.

DO NOT tell me that I cannot cancel my order when you failed to deliver the item at the time you were supposed to after your driver made a mistake. DO NOT tell me this because now I am writing a nasty letter to you, SNOOKIES COOKIES. DO YOU HEAR ME?

Archive File: Cranky

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  1. Uggghhh... you have to love the parent that lets you know how much they spent on your child for THEIR planned affair. While we are at it, let's stack up all the gifts and arrange them in front of who bought them and see how much they truly value you. I mean, that IS how it works isn't it?

  2. "Please remove the blog including my name / negative comments. I no longer work for Snookies Cookies.

    Thank you.

    PS This is me asking politely

    Sheldon Horowitz"


    I removed your name, but not the negative comments regarding the service at Snookie's Cookies, which was entirely unsatisfactory.


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