Dear God When Is Your Father Getting Home??!!

Get ready for more CRANK! Do not say you haven't been warned!!

Sure they look cute and harmless, but my two girls, they can wreak havoc on a sane person's soul, and occasionally bring up the urge to put one's head in the oven. Nothing serious - I'm just sharing.

Today was not a good day. It started off with a crazy morning, as not only did we have to get the girls up and to school on time and not our usual five minutes late (the State is inflicting their State-mandated testing, those Nazis) but I promised Kira's teacher I would help out in the classroom for an hour or so. It was pleasant enough until Kira discovered that - OMIGOD BAD MOMMIE - I forgot to make her lunch and she gave me the silent pout and growl and shot burning stares of displeasure my way to voice her extreme disapproval at my ineptness. Friday is the only day she doesn't like to eat in the cafeteria because they have pizza that is SQUARE, and well, you don't want to know the rest of the argument.

Anyways, after completing my volunteer stint in the presence of The Unhappy Luncher I had to rush out to try and make it to my Writer's Group that meets every three weeks at a cafe on the other side of town. I was running late and by the time I got there I had missed the breakfast menu, infuriating since I was anticipating a nice hot plate of scrambled eggs and I had to eat a grilled panini with salad at eleven in the morning - who the hell eats salad before noon? - and now I was starting to feel like Kira when she is forced to eat Square Pizza.

The babysitter had picked the girls up at school and by the time I got home they had stored up hours of demands and whines that they proceeded to dump on me as soon as I walked in the door. Of course Kira started in with the whole forgotten lunch thing, and how I promised I would make her a sandwich AS SOON AS SHE GOT HOME, and now she was starving and not only that but her nose was runny, and her throat kind of felt weird, too, and CAN YOU MAKE ME A SANDWICH MOM CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU FORGOT TO MAKE MY LUNCH TODAY SO CAN YOU REDEEM YOURSELF AND MAKE IT UP TO ME? HUH? (Repeat 5x)

And Kiyomi followed suit, wanting snacks (the amount of food these little things consume - it's just plain freaky) and someone to play outside with her, and can I have some chocolate milk, and now I want a bagel with cream cheese, but like, NOW, and I changed my mind not chocolate milk but juice, but not the kind in a cup, but a juice box, but not the kind I put in her lunch yesterday, it tasted kind of icky and HEY WHERE IS THAT BAGEL WOMAN?

I rest my case.

Archive File: Cranky | Offspring

Tweet Pin It