Regrets: Teaching Them How To Read Nutritional Labels.
And yes, I have been known to say, "No, I'm not steaming any more broccoli. But there is an entire pepperoni pizza here and somebody better eat it."
(Continuing my homage to PostSecret, yet another installment in my series which I call "MomSecret")
MomSecrets from my past:
• Bad Mommy.
• Next Up: Stealing Shopping Carts From Homeless People.
• Lying, Deceit and Self-Absorption - Some Moms Can Do It All!
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You are my mentor.
ReplyDelete"...AND a podiatric ailment AND a domestic animal!"
ReplyDeleteNice work. There's nothing like trying to whip a kid up into impossible enthusiasm to crush your very soul. Fallback position: Gummi Bears, every time.
That postsecret thing you did is hilarious. Just the laugh I needed to start my day.
ReplyDeleteHow do I love you (and corndogs), let me count the ways...
ReplyDeleteOMG, you say NO to more steamed broccolli too? I've had to, and in exchange I offer him more meat...who says no to meat?
ReplyDeleteHooray, a new MomSecret!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who is just too lazy some mornings to put the healthy food in the lunch bag. At least my kids' school offers FRESH fruit and vegetables every day, and they have an actual kitchen where they actually cook the food, as opposed to having it delivered already cooked. That's my justification, at least.
ReplyDeleteI love this one...although I have liked them all.
ReplyDeletemmmm. . . corn dog.
ReplyDeleteI love this! I adore Postsecret, but I think I might like Momsecret even more.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I actually caught myself scolding my son the other day and telling him "we're almost out of milk, drink soda."
ReplyDeleteGah!
i tell my children that chez-it's have protein and fiber and yogo's are a milk byproduct. i dare the school to refute my lies.
ReplyDeleteAnother shocking and disturbing thing about moving from California to New Jersey-at my kid's school there are no school lunches. I am so hosed. Morning after morning in California I could get a free pass as I had money on her card just in case. Here it's all on me. Damnit.
ReplyDeleteI love your little "secrets". My favorite part of this one is the "we're tellin' dad" bubble. Too funny!
ReplyDeleteYou think that's bad? I actually said to the boys "why don't you watch tv or something?" the other day because they were all riled up, had plenty of physical activity and were driving me nutso. So what do I do? Try to make the tv more attractive to them. I never thought I'd see the day!
ReplyDeleteCarrie
My husband saved me the guilt over the lunch thing, he insists that the kids buy their lunch. Luckily our schools recently changed their menus to offer only healthy options. My picky eaters eat things at school that they would never try at home. My kids will be cussing me today though, it's whole wheat pizza, which they hate.
ReplyDeleteI love it!
ReplyDeleteAnd I so am living this secret.
Tee hee hee......absolutely NOTHIN wrong with Corn Dawgs!!!
ReplyDeleteVery funny!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was really little, I thought Corn Dogs were really made from Dogs. When my Dog died we ate Corn Dogs a few days later. I freaked!
Who on earth invented corn dogs, anyway?
ReplyDeleteBut did you know that there is now "porkchop on a stick" at carnivals and county fairs everywhere? Jason's step-mom manned just such a booth at the Minnesota State Fair a few weeks ago. I'm not kidding.
Maybe the corn was organic and the dogs nitrate free?
ReplyDeleteLOVE THIS. (And don't worry, I'm not tellin')
ReplyDeleteHaha! I love it. You know, it wouldn't be beneath me to pull something like this on my kids, either...no siree....not beneath me at all.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh. I love your Mom Secret series.
My buddies and I were in Chicago last year. We ended up in some random bar and noticed they had corn dogs on the menu. Since corn dogs sound like they go pretty well with Jager bombs, we decided to get a few orders. Damn if they weren't the best corn dogs I've ever had in my life. I asked our waitress if this restaurant was known for their corn dogs or something (because they were so darn tasty.) She replied that since she'd been working at the bar, she'd NEVER seen anyone order the corn dogs before.
ReplyDeleteWhen I asked her how long she'd been working at the bar, she said, "Oh, only for about 6 years."
D'oh!
You are entirely too funny.
ReplyDeleteI bow...
ReplyDeleteI am not worthy...
I my gosh that was good...
You are pure genius.
ReplyDeletebrilliant. really.
ReplyDeleteWe've even told the girls to finish their fries before they could have ice cream. Oy.
ReplyDeleteWhat's really bad is saying, "No you can't have any ice cream until you finish that brownie." Gah. I never thought I'd say stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteOr "Your hungry? There's no time to eat a real meal. Here. Have a cheese stick and some Spider man fruit snacks."
oh...I thought corn dogs were a fruit.....
ReplyDeleteFreakin' hilarious...
This one is my favourite yet. "That's a vegetable AND a protein." *snort*
ReplyDeleteCorn dogs have a bad rap. Around my house, they're Sunday dinner.
ReplyDeletedon't we all have those moments? sometimes I even convince myself that Cheetos are an excellent source of calcium...
ReplyDeleteMy god, we do need to meet up somewhere and compare notes. How about a Wienerschnitzel somewhere 1/2 way? Or better yet, a Mickey D's with a playyard? That way I can give my toddler her nuggets and tell her to go play while mommy and Sweatpants talk parenting strategies.
ReplyDeleteyou.are.just.terrible.and.i.think.i.love.you.
ReplyDeleteYummm...
ReplyDelete-Annie ;)
These are my favorite... your Post Secrets kick booty!
ReplyDeleteI love these. You should put together a slide show and show them at the next PTA meeting! Oh, and we've eaten enough corn dogs and turkey dogs at our house to line our driveway.
ReplyDeleteWell, my kids don't even know that's its possible to bring lunch from home. I have convinced them that they ALWAYS have to eat lunch at school becuz well,that's the rule. :) So, you're doing lots lots better than me.
ReplyDelete