Thursday, April 27, 2006

Cheese Is The Key To Life!

Taking a page from what will soon be known as the "Sweatpantsmom who?" files, I give you another one of Kiyomi's brilliant journal entries. (Really, I don't mind being upstaged by a seven-year old, although the phone calls from her agent late at night are really starting to get on my nerves.)

Cheese is the ultimate key to life. It has [style.] It has fame and even more. It is very healthy for you so [eat] it a lot! There are so many wonderful versions...except for the evil [cheddar] and american cheese! *evil music plays*

They have shallow holes that lead to the bottom of it. The cheese is a wonderful experience and gives you ideas about art. It makes you think about a [bologna] and cheese (not [cheddar] or american) sandwich and some [delicious] [Cheeze-its] And most of all it's...delishish! Thats the whole point of why I'm telling you this! This is why cheese is the key to life!

(And for you skeptics who think that I could even make this up, here are the pages from her journal.)

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66 comments:

  1. This is complete genius. I can 't compete with this sort of thing. Stay on the right side of her, she is going to make a fortune and you could spend your dotage in the Mediterranean villa she buys you as a tax write-off.

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  2. If she's anything like her mom, down the road that's gonna read, "cheese and wine". hopefully it isn't as soon as 4th grade. Nobody like a 4th grade wino.

    She is rather brilliant. I give you that.

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  3. All parents think that their children are brilliant, but you have proof!

    btw, what's so evil about cheddar and american? You're not raising her to love those french cheeses, are you? :)

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  4. Brilliant! Kiyomi's favorite must be Swiss, the one with the holes in the bottom of it. She has much better handwriting, spelling and sentence structure than most seven year olds I think. I know my son can't write like that. She could be the next big thing!

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  5. This really is absolutely brilliant. She most certainly is YOUR daughter. Too funny. And very possibly, the greatest homage to cheese that I've ever read. I love it.

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  6. How cute!! I'm totally with her - cheese IS the key to life. Right on, Kiyomi!

    My brother was quoted in a local paper answering the question, "Ketchup or mustard?" by saying "Mustard. It gives me an enormous sense of well-being." He was 20 yrs. old. You should ask Kiyomi to write about that next...

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  7. Cheese is the key to life! YES!
    (My son feels the same way as he walks around calling everything cheese.)
    But, cheddar? evil? Put some on some fries for her (if you let her eat 'em) and she will Loooove cheddar cheese...there's nothing like cheese fries...

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  8. She's a girl after my own heart. I could (and do!) eat cheese daily. (Hmmm...could have something to do with the pesky 10 pounds I can't lose.) Love her spelling of "delishish." I think I hear the Kraft marketing execs calling...

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  9. This is hysterical! And soooo sooooooo right! Cheese is the key to LIFE!!!!! Talk about smart, she's a genious!

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  10. *snort* Cheese is the key to life. I want that on a t-shirt.

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  11. send her to italy. right now. i'll show her what cheese is really about!

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  12. LOL= i want to live off cheese and never get fat!

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  13. I think that my 16 year old son would agree as he inhales a 1 kilogram block of the stuff (he likes the mozarella/cheddar mix) every week. An expensive habit. But cheaper than weed ...

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  14. Oh god, I do love cheese.

    This is too hilarious.

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  15. I bought some parmesan with cracked pepper the other day and used it for snacks . I loved it. Yumm.

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  16. Your kid is brilliant! Mama T's right. It should be on a T-Shirt.

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  17. LOL! She's one smart cookie. And discriminating taste buds if she's not into the cheddar or american cheese. Is she more a brie kind of girl? ;-)

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  18. obviously she's a born blogger... so when are you going to give her her own blog? :)

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  19. Running to store RIGHT NOW to get baguette...drunken goat cheese...ta-mah-toes and radishes! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...........

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  20. Wow! I love reading my seven-year-old's stuff. He was voted best writer in Kindergarten. Sigh. Gotta love those kids...

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  21. Cheese is the key to life. You have a smart one there.

    Hope she doesn't discover the wine to go with it anytime soon!

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  22. *evil music plays*
    ok, your kid is WAY too good a writer. she needs a blog.

    fabulous (and so very, very true)

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  23. Kudos to you for breeding a future blogger with discerning cheese tastes.

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  24. "They have shallow holes that lead to the bottom of it."

    This is my favorite line. Very deep.

    P.S. Love your new header! Two of my fav foods there.

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  25. I am thinking she deserves a trip over to melody's shop, to explore the many cheese options available to her.
    I will definitely be forwarding the link to Melody. To me, it has a bit of a music lyric vibe. Maybe Rigel ought to put it to music and sing it at his next gig.

    Brilliant!

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  26. She is a genius and that is the coolest thing I've seen in a long time. Plus, I agree 100% (except for the "Cheddar is evil" thing.) Has she met Brie yet? Oh, I cannot wait for the journal entries inspired by Brie.

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  27. I agree with her. Cheese is the key to life, and that's all I have to say about that.

    You've got a future copywriter on your hands! Send her to me in a few years; I'll hook her up.

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  28. Why she be buggin' on the cheddar? I mean, sure, the Kraft variety, meh, but - cheddar can be the bomb, so tell her to quit frontin'.

    I look forward to further installments. :-)

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  29. You have done well, Mama. I salute you - with my mojito.

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  30. I love this so much. She is a fantatsic writer and I am insanely jealous.
    Gotta love the cheese. Makes me want a toasted cheese sandwich immediately!

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  31. It's been said, obviously, but bears saying again: this is a writer of rare insight and talent.

    Cheese *is* the key to life. She speaks the truth, and speaks it well.

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  32. She should start a blog. She's already got the title!

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  33. Hahaha...a future writer in the making!

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  34. oh. my. lord.

    that's perfect proof that children are THE BEST at expressing themselves.

    i mean, come ON! it's delishish! ;)

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  35. Good grief, I love that girl.

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  36. I'm with her on American cheese, that stuff is nasty!

    Your kid is hilarious. I wonder where she gets it from. (remembering almost choking to death on AIR after reading one of your last comments on my blog)

    Yeah, I think I know where she gets it from.

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  37. She's got some serious talent there. YOu know if she started writing for Saturday Night Live, the show would actually be funny again! I can't wait to see what she's writing in 10 years!

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  38. sounds like she should start her own blog! great wrinting for a 7 yr old!

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  39. OMG! Right on, sistah! Cheese IS the key...to EVERYTHING! I am a HUGE fan of cheese. One look at my rear and you'll see it's true, LOL!

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  40. Well, here's to cheese!

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  41. How friggin cute! Cheese makes everything better. :)

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  42. Aha! This is why she is so gassy. What a funny kid.
    Please tell her favorite cheese, so I can run to Costco and send her a table sized wheel of cheese. (not cheddar)

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  43. That's HILARIOUS. I love the *evil music plays*. I'm sure you know it already, but that kid is a genius.

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  44. I am loving the cheese even more! Go girl!

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  45. Delishish! That's my new favorite word. You guys should trademark it :)

    And seriously, the bacon and eggs in
    your header drives me crazy. Everytime I leave here, I dream of going to Denny's.

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  46. Chees is the king in our house, along with a healthy dose of garlic.

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  47. OMG-Brilliant. If this is what she is writing now...wow, just wow. Ooh! And I want a tshirt too!!!

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  48. She's right, the key to life and world cheese, er peace.

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  49. Wow! That's just great and so well written! Isn't it wonderful the things we learn from our children? That is too cute and a wonderful memory to have & share.

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  50. Damn straight! I don't know where I'd be now without cheese. Seriously.

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  51. A girl after my own heart. I never met a cheese I didn't like, but I'm not a huge fan of the cheddar myself. Clearly she should be working for the dairy council.

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  52. Aah, she's brilliant! The part about the the "American" cheese was especially poignant, as processed cheese is pure evil.

    The snippet about the "bologna" disturbed me though, so I'm just going to pretend that I didn't read that part ;p.

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  53. Life is better with cheese. Absolutely.

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  54. This has "exotic cheese ad campaign" written all over it... or maybe just "How to impress adults by using asterisks correctly." Either way, very incisive!

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  55. The kid's got a serious aversion to Cheddar and American. They are rather pedestrian, but since I cannot abide any food (cheese or other) that smells like feet, I'm obligated to partake of those two as well as Monterrey Jack. I feel so...wrong.

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  56. That is hilarious! Amazing. I did believe you, but I have to admit that the journal pages made it even funnier - seeing those words in a child's handwriting.

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  57. I am only glad your daughter is addressing this serious issue.

    Let's campaign ... American Cheese ... It's Na-ChO cheese; it's disgusting. So stinkin' shiny and it's crazy, clingy static wrapper. That is enough to lose me as a consumer.

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  58. Oh god I think I'm going to die laughing and my husband is going to lock my mortal remains away so that I can never come back to life because I'm laughing so hard!

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  59. I smiled and giggled, but more than that I thought, "OHMYGOD GET THAT KID AN AGENT!" Seven years old and she writes brilliantly. Fabulous imagination.

    And now a few words to her mother: GOOD JOB!

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  60. I LOVE SEVEN YEAR OLDS!! I'm biased, being in possession of one myself. Your seven year old just made my day. *evil music plays* HAH!

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  61. It's pretty amazing that this came from a 7-year old. She sounds very mature and intelletual for her age.

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  62. well, she certainly writes better than me. better start shopping publishing houses...

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  63. THAT was too good! I am inspired to become poetic about some food product! Maybe Salsa?

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  64. I'm with Lin, get that kid an agent. She is destined for greatness...I'm thinking a Tina Fey for the next generation. Wow. Impressive.

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  65. While I agree cheese is great. You read her journal?

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  66. AAAHHHH!!! That is just too much! Too funny AND brilliant! She's going to be syndicated, I can feel it...

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