Promise You'll Write Me
A few days ago I took the girls with me to run some errands. We returned around 6pm, and as I was putting away groceries in the kitchen I noticed it seemed kind of dark. I started firing up for my usual Cursing Of The Lightbulbs, where I damn them to hell for burning out when I need them most. Usually, if Rigel is home I do this out loud, which serves as a sort of call-to-arms; he dutifully forays out to the garage to bring back a working lightbulb. To reward his gallantry I lay down in his lair and let him have his way with me while I praise his manliness. I'm joking - we don't really call it a lair.
But on this day, as I looked up, I noticed that all of the bulbs were working. Figuring it was some sort of freakish dimming thing going on (notice my fine knowledge of things technical!) I started turning on more lights, because this is the twenty-first century after all and we aren't Amish and I need me some light to shuck my wheat! It was around thirty minutes later, and only after I had turned on practically all the lights in the house, that I noticed I STILL HAD MY SUNGLASSES ON.
Okay, aside from the obvious nutjob aspect of this story, the troubling thing is, MY DAUGHTERS DIDN'T SAY A THING, THE ENTIRE TIME. Like they're used to my teetering on the brink of dementia. It's as if they were thinking, "Oh, look. Mommy's wearing her sunglasses in the house and turning on all the lights and muttering to herself. Sort of like when she wears her pajamas all day and then insists they're her workout clothes. Won't be long now before she shows up at our school wearing a nightie and waving a bottle of gin around. It's best we just start ignoring her now."
Later when Rigel came home and I was relaying the sunglass incident to him, he looked at me worried and said, "Hon, that story - let's keep it between you and me."
Do they let you blog from the asylum?
Archive File: Married | Offspring | This Life
I had a friend that went limping through the grocery store,
ReplyDeleteall the while wondering "why am i limping?" When she
finally got to the check out, she looked down at her feet
only to realize she had on one FLAT and one PUMP.
Scary huh? Laughing real hard right now! Wait til
Kira and Kiyomi write their childhood memoirs one day.
Or better yet, can we get them blogging?
Hahaaaaaaaaaaa! Too funny!
ReplyDeleteMy husband's aunt had a similar experience while making a two hour trip at dusk. She kept asking her husband if it seemed extra dark to him, and he kept saying no. Finally they got home, and she went to put her glasses on...only to realize that she already had her sunglasses on...for the entire trip!! And her husband didn't even notice, either.
p.s. looks like that top comment is no good. You might want to turn on word verification in settings before you get twelve anonymous comments like that for each post like i did. It was so bad, i almost had to delete my blog. They also got my email address from my "post notification" and started sending them there as well. Just a friendly warning from a fellow blogger.
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