I Haven't Watched Cartoon Network For Forty Eight Hours

The girls started school yesterday. As usual in the ying-yang universe that is Kira and Kiyomi, one loooves their teacher and one hates theirs with an uncharacteristic intensity. Guess which is which? More on that later.

I am embracing my new freedom with the voracity of a feral chihuahua being liberated from Paris Hilton's purse. SIX WHOLE HOURS, PEOPLE. ALONE. IN MY HOUSE. I've compiled a list of things that I can do now, that I haven't been able to do for the last three months:

Go to the bathroom without someone barging in and asking for gum. Or beer. Oh wait, that wasn't the girls.

Go grocery shopping without Flamin' Hot Cheetos, gummy worms or Disney Adventures magazine mysteriously appearing in my cart.

Take a shower before noon.

Take a shower before noon that lasts more than three minutes.

Take a shower before noon that lasts more than three minutes and isn't interrupted by someone barging in and asking for gum.

Go for hours without hearing the words 'snack,' 'help,' or ''wake up.'

Exercise. (I said 'can' do, as in 'in the realm of possibility.')

Being able to talk on the phone without first having to give the 'Please Do Not Interrupt Me Unless You're Bleeding From A Severed Limb' speech.

Miss them.

Archive File: Offspring

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