Friday, June 24, 2005

Oh The Fun To Be Had!!

There is much celebrating going on today for it was the last day of school!! I say this with double exclamation points because as joyous a day as it is, the exclamation points!! just make it all so much more exciting!! I started singing that Alice Cooper song, but then the children, they began to stare, so I stopped!!

Although, now a feeling of panic is engulfing me, for although it is the joyous last day of school!! we are now left with long days ahead of us, long days of no academic diversions blending into long nights of no homework and no shoebox-diorama projects to fill up the time. In a few weeks they will be starting some stimulating activities!! such as science camp, swim class and ice skating lessons, but until then I have come up with some exciting amusements!! of my own:

Watch Mommy Sleep Slumberland Dream!!
As riveting as it sounds, only more so!! First person to wake mommy loses!! Those who find humor in dancing around her singing "Ding dong the witch is dead!" while she is unconscious may lose GameCube privileges!!

Magical Starbucks So Fun Adventure!!
Explore the coffee displays with educational stickers bearing names of exotic places even though we are certain all the coffee comes from the same place, while Mommy stands in line for her double-half-caf-percent-cap!! A magical potion of milk, chocolate syrup and whipped cream awaits at the end of the counter for those children able to hold themselves together!! Can only be played between the hours of 3-5 pm.

Red Hot Fire Burning Sidewalk!!
Refuse to put on shoes even though patiently suggested by Mommy hundreds of thousands of times!! Run from backyard to garage during hot midday sun while barefoot and cry out "Ow ow ow ow!! Sandals sandals sandals!!" while Mommy stands at back door and watches impassively!! Not to be played within earshot of any neighbors with proclivity to calling Child Services!! Ha ha!! Just joking!! Really!!

Little Girls Soft n' Fluffy Fight Club!!
Fill up as many spare hours as possible with new bickering and arguing techniques involving propriety of Polly Pocket clothes, hurt feelings over repeated affronts of "Poop head!" and "Duh!" and excessive fart-blaming!! Entitles forced spectator to ground said offenders while wielding phone like a crazed ding-a-ling and threats of calling paternal parent!! To be followed by compulsory consumption of alcoholic beverages by maternal parent!! Let the games begin!!

Archive File: Offspring

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