Flipping Off Movie Stars

Earlier today I was driving back home after dropping Kira off at a movie theater clear across town. (Why across town, when there are a million movie theaters that were closer? Because this one was more convenient for her friend. Kira has now been instructed that any future friends she makes have to live within a five mile radius of our house. When she meets someone, before even striking up a conversation she has to ask for their zip code and if it's too far she has to say, "I'm sorry. You're nice and all, but my mother almost had an aneurysm the last time she had to drive me across town for a movie so just move along.")

So I'm driving through Hollywood in a ton of traffic, and at one point I came to a stop behind a sleek black convertible sports car in the left-turn lane. When the light turned to a green left-turn arrow, he just sat there and after the car behind me honked I gave a little honk myself just to play along, and I guess the guy didn't like being pulled away from the text he was sending because he raised his arm up high and gave us all the finger.

(Don't you just love people, who when they're caught making a mistake decide that they're just going to turn it around and take their anger out on you? As if to say, "Yeah, I took a nap and missed that signal, but EFF YOU AND YOUR MOTHER AND STUFF.")

And he didn't just give us the finger. Because he was in a convertible he raised that arm of his way up in the air and waved that finger around like he was cursing not only us, but all of our ancestors, too. If anything it showed me a new way to use that sunroof on my van that I rarely ever crank open.

But the finger wasn't enough, so once we all turned left he decided to punish us all even further by going really, really slow, knowing full well that we didn't have room to pass him because there were cars parked all the street. He continued this for a few blocks, and when I finally had room to pass him I pulled up alongside him and decided to give him the warm greeting he had sent my way back at the intersection. No doubt everyone behind me did the same.

Except after I did it and I was driving past him I took a look and he kind of sort of looked like Benicio Del Toro. Well, maybe a lot like him.

So maybe I just gave a movie star the finger. If that was you, Benicio, know this - if I had realized who you were, I probably would still have flipped you off, but afterward I would have at least rolled down my window to tell you how brilliant you were in 21 Grams.

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