My life is like a motorized bar stool

Today I saw what had to be the best story ever in the history of the internet. Kile Wygle of Ohio was arrested for drunk driving on his bar stool. Yes you heard me. Apparently Kile had taken a bar stool, attached it to a lawn mower and was using it as his own little happy hour shuttle. Police responded to reports of a crash, and found he had wrecked his stoolmobile after consuming 13 beers.

Personally I think Kile is a genius. How many times have you been at a bar, had one too many Appletinis and then dreamt of a way of getting home without having to get off your ass? Not to mention the numerous times you may have been mowing your lawn, had a hankering for a brewski and arrived at your local watering hole only to realize there were no seats left for your weary self. Bar stool + Motor = Best invention since the rolling hot dog cart.

Sure attaching a piece of furniture to a gardening tool may not be an obvious fit, but can you blame the guy for following his dream? I give him credit for forging ahead, no matter how many weird looks he got from the neighbors or how many months he may have to spend in jail because he drank a couple of gallons of beer and then got behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

I feel an affinity with Kile, because I've gotten more than a few eyebrows raised my way because of things I've done. Why, just last week Rigel made that tsk tsk sound at me because I told him I was still going to send out our holiday newsletters even though it was the end of March, and I didn't care what our friends and family thought. So what if they silently berate us for our lateness and then make crude comments lamely disguised as humor when we see them at dinner parties? Sometimes life is all about acting on what is in your heart, or in the case of Kile, what is in that old rusty tool shed out back.

What does it all mean? I'm not sure, except that Kile's story was a completely random but convenient way to warn my family and friends that they'll be getting our holiday card and newsletter in the mail next week. And if you have something to say, you can say it to my face when I drive over to your place on my bar stool.

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tags: motorized bar stool | happy holidays | better late than never

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