Hey look, it's bunnies and glitter!

Last week was a rough one, with all the middle-school insanity and heapings of grief from the internet and I thought there was no way I was going to be able put on my smile pants to talk about bunnies and glitter. But I decided to take a cue from my friend and colleague Tracey and write about something happy here, just to change it up a bit. Take that, haters!

Rigel and I went to a wedding this weekend of one of my oldest and best friends, Melinda. I've known Melinda since one of my very first jobs at a design studio, and even though we float in and out of each others lives I don't feel we're ever far apart. I loved that fact that even on the day of her wedding we were exchanging Facebook messages about the hair-pulling experience that is parenting teens, and also how she perfectly conveyed the excitement!!! and the nervousness!!! of the wedding day!!! with all her exclamation points. In fact, she's got me thinking the key to positive thinking is all in the punctuation.

At the very last minute our babysitting plans fell through and we ended up bringing Kira and Kiyomi with us, and I'm glad we did because it was such a beautiful and touching ceremony and I was happy my girls were there to see it. With all the negativity they're exposed to in this world, I was grateful to have them there to witness something as powerful as the marriage of two people truly in love, and all the support they received from all of their friends and family in the room. (In fact, Kira gave it her best endorsement ever; we dropped her off at her friend's party afterward and when she got home she said, "I had a way better time at the wedding.")

It was a lovely ending to kind of a crappy week, and I felt lifted to be there with the man I love, our amazing kids and good friends. In other words, smile pants - prepare to be worn.

Oh, and another great ending to my week - Kiyomi tried to scare me with this last night:



But ha - the joke's on her! I knew it wasn't real because it didn't even move when I started screaming and trying to smash it with the hair dryer.

Have a great week everyone!!!!!!!!! Bunnies and glitter for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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If you've got a camera, a pen and an email address this is your lucky day

DEADLINE EXTENDED! You now have until 11:59pm on Wednesday, October 28 to submit your entries!



First the good news: I'm giving away 4 VIP Passes to Disneyland's Holiday Celebration. This includes a party and all sorts of VIP goodness.

Now the bad news: You'll have to hang out with me all day.

But more good news: It's easy to enter - just take a photo, write a paragraph and email it to me. But hurry - I need your entries by Monday, October 26.

Read all the details and enter here.

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I interviewed Jennifer Love Hewitt in my pajamas

I interviewed Jennifer Love Hewitt for the new issue of Genlux magazine. We were supposed to meet for lunch one day last month, but after going back and forth with her publicist for a few days and trying to fit it into Jennifer's crowded schedule, it was decided that it would be easier to do the interview over the phone. I actually like it better this way, since it doesn't require me to brush my hair, or put on clothes or any of those other time-wasting, totally unnecessary tasks. Also, there's no chance of me pulling my iPhone out of my purse during an interview and finding a granola bar stuck to it, or getting the urge to wrap up all of Mischa Barton's shrimp dumplings and take them home with me because she hadn't touched any of them.

So while it would have been nice to hang out with J-Love in a fancy restaurant and sip some wine while we chatted over a nice bread basket and a plate of expensive cheese, I got to interview her from the comfort of my own home. While wearing my pajamas. With unbrushed hair. If that image doesn't just scream 'professional journalist' I don't know what does.

I interviewed her while she was on the set of the Ghost Whisperer and she was as nice as you would imagine her to be; she started of by apologizing for not being able to meet in person and thanked me for working around her schedule. In turn I think I said something crazy like, "It's better this way because then I won't try and wrap up your dumplings." In a related story, I don't understand why I'm not getting more paying jobs.

My favorite part of the interview was when, after rattling off some of her favorite designers (Marc Jacobs, Narisco Rodriguez, Christian Louboutin) she admitted that lately she's being doing most of her shopping at...Forever 21. At that moment I thought, 'Now here's a girl I can hang out with!' I wonder if she ever goes anywhere without brushing her hair. Probably not.

You can read the entire article here. Try not to spoil it by imagining me in my pajamas.
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tags: jennifer love hewitt | genlux magazine | the ghost whisperer

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Hey Look - a Giveaway! Disney Interactive Party: I Came, I Saw, I Brought Home Gift Bags

I'm giving away a Disney Interactive Studios swag bag filled with some cool stuff. Head on over to my reviews blog, Views From The Pants, and leave a comment. You can also enter by leaving a comment on the Sweatpantsmom Facebook fan page. Alternately, you can come to my house and bring me some cookies, and that will count as an entry as well. JUST KIDDING ABOUT THAT LAST ONE. I'll only do that for brownies.

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She's With The Band, Part I: Beg and Ye Shall Receive

On Sunday Rigel took Kira to a concert, something that's become part of a regular routine. It always starts off the same way - She sits down at her computer, lets out a piercing scream because one of her favorite bands has posted their tour dates, immediately IMs and texts two hundred of her closest friends and then spends the next few weeks begging and pleading for one of us to take her to the concert. Most of the time it's Rigel she grovels to the most since she knows he usually can't resist getting out to see live music anyway, the same way she knows she can get me to take her to Target if she tells me they're having a two-for-one sale on beef jerky.

(Although I did take her to this a couple of weekends ago, an event that proved to be so traumatic for me that I haven't been able to write about it yet, the event that resulted in Kira proclaiming that day "The best freakin' day of my entire life" while at the same time made me wonder if I was fit to be a parent. Trust me - you'd feel the same way if you just let your 13-year-old loose in a room with a bunch of drunk twenty-somethings squirting paint on each other's nipples.)

There was no way in hell my parents would ever have taken me to a concert when I was a teenager. Of course, I was the youngest of five kids, so by the time I came along I'm surprised they even had the energy to feed me, let alone schlep me to a concert. I do remember winning a pair of KISS tickets on the radio when I was 14 and my dad, who was usually so protective, dropped me and friend off at Anaheim stadium to fend for ourselves, paying no attention to the legions of potentially dangerous adult men walking around wearing full face makeup and thigh-high boots.

The concert this weekend was a pretty tame event, an indie rocker named Ladyhawke that Kira likes. She was playing a free gig in front of the Urban Outfitters store across from Amoeba Records on Sunset Boulevard. It really was the ultimate afternoon for Kira - a concert with one of her favorite artists, coupled with the prospect of shopping at two of her favorite stores. Live music, vintage vinyl and spandex leggings all in the same day - the only way it could have gotten any better is if there was a mosh pit made up entirely of the cast from Gossip Girl.

As is typical with Kira she got to meet Ladyhawke herself, having positioned herself at just the right spot in front of a stage door. She has a knack for that, and I'm starting to think that her ability to push herself to the front of any stage, or talk a photographer into letting her slip into a restricted area of a club may be a skill that will get her far in life, or at least maybe get her mom a spot at the front of the crowd at the next Barneys sale.

But really, we're grateful she's found something she's so passionate about and we're happy to support it. She's a good kid, a straight-A student and she doesn't ask for much else. And besides, we tell ourselves there are worse things she could be dragging us to, like an ultimate cage fighting event or heaven forbid - a KISS concert.

Oh, but don't just take my word for it - go read Kira's version of her day at her blog, Metronome (Didn't you just figure that my kid would have her own blog?)

Up Next: She's With The Band, Part II: What's a nice girl like Kira doing at a club called The Smell?

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tags: ladyhawke | teens + music | my indie girl

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Here Is A Story About a Trapped Penis

I hadn't posted for awhile and was working on something to put up today, but then I came across this little gem and knew that you'd much rather read about a trapped penis than any stories about my sub-par parenting. Personally, I'd rather read about a trapped penis than just about anything else in this world.

So the story is that the Fire Department Urban Search and Rescue team in Costa Mesa, CA responded to a call of a 'trapped penis.' What went through their minds when they got that call? A couple stuck together in an overzealous embrace? Jon Gosselin locked in a cage?

What they found was a man who, in an attempt to increase the size of his penis, had placed it through a "hole of a steel, ring-shaped dumbbell weight fastener," according to a local news report. I guess he figured if he could just teach his penis to do 50-reps with a five-pound weight the thing would bulk up and no one would kick sand in its face anymore.

As an explanation the guy apparently told the Fire Captain, 'This will make me the chief of my tribe!" but all it did was restrict the blood flow to his chief-like part and caused it to swell so much that the weight couldn't be removed. They ended up having to take him to the hospital where they used a surgical saw to cut through the metal ring. "They also slid a little piece of metal between the collar and his thing, so if it slipped past it wouldn’t hit his thing," the Fire Captain said. I guess it just wouldn't look right if a person in his position actually used the word, 'penis.'

Is there a moral to this story? Maybe that you should be happy with what you have even though girls laugh at it, or maybe the lesson is not to try and make your penis bigger with any gym equipment, only pills that you see advertised in your Yahoo mail sidebar. Or maybe it's just a cautionary tale, that if I don't find something to write about soon you might be forced to read my next post, about the woman who got her boob stuck in a Thighmaster.

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This is not a sponsored post. Or is it?

No it isn't, but like the movie I'm going to talk about, Paper Heart, it's always good to keep people guessing. (I know there's been a a lot of controversy in the blogosphere lately about people getting paid for posts, and I just wanted to make things perfectly clear: Who in their right mind would pay me for this? Although it sure would have helped, because that $30 bucket of popcorn and those $15 Twizzlers really put a dent in my wallet.)

The 'mockumentary' stars comedian Charlyne Yi and chronicles her search for true love, but the audience is never quite sure which parts are real and which parts are fiction. Along the way Yi meets and falls in love with actor Michael Cera, who plays himself. The big question surrounding the film is, were Yi and Cera ever dating or were they just playing a couple for the sake of the movie? The fact that I'm intrigued enough to even write a post about it says a lot about the persuasiveness of the movie. Or does it just mean I'm sorely in need of a hobby? There I go with the whole keep-you-guessing thing again! Ka-ching!

Paper Heart was just one of the movies I took Kira and Kiyomi and their friends to see this summer. Like many of the others, this fell squarely into the tween-teen-chick-flick genre that Rigel avoids like the plague, movies that make him say things like, "You girls go and bond," and "Please don't make me go see that crappy movie." That's not to say I didn't like the movie - I really did - but the cuteness and 'twee' factor were a big part of it's charm, and when Rigel asked me how it was and I said, "It would have made you want to shoot yourself right there in the theater," he knew exactly what I meant.

But I loved this movie and would recommend seeing it, if only for Charlene Yi's quirkiness and also for the puppet segments that illustrate some of the backstories of the characters - the puppets and sets were actually made by Yi and her dad. (Also, it's around a billion times better than another movie I took the girls to see, I Love You Beth Cooper, that made me want to march right up to the box office and demand the last 102 minutes of my life back, with interest.)

Here's a trailer from the movie, but mind you, I will have to charge you to watch it.

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tags: paper heart | charlyne yi | michael cera

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MamaPop: Jon Gosselin's Stomach Is Telling Us To Go To Hell

I have a new post up on MamaPop about Jon Gosselin's stomach. Let's just say it involves Jon's stomach speaking to me in the voice of McGruff the Crime Dog. My God, if that doesn't just make you put down your Wii remote and rush right on over, I don't know what will.

So there's this picture that's been all over the internet, of Jon Gosselin exposing his stomach. There he is nonchalantly texting and at the same time treating us all to a glimpse of his blubbery mound. And while most people are wondering how he could be so careless, I tend to think he's doing it on purpose. It's like Jon's stomach is giving us the finger...

Read More...

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tags: jon gosselin | kate gosselin | jon & kate plus 8 | mamapop

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Ladies and Gentlemen, the future President of the United States

So Kiyomi graduated from elementary school in June and I didn't write about it here although I've had every intention of doing so. Like so many things, I mean well, but can never find the time. Just like that bag of dry cleaning I've been meaning to take in forever, although someone pointed out that by the time I do all the clothes in there will be totally outdated. But I told them, who are you kidding - shoulder pads and rainbow suspenders will never go out of style.

Where was I?

Oh yes - Kiyomi graduated!

We are so very proud of our Kiyomi. Along with being just generally awesome and original (who else would name a mass of tangles in their hair 'Bob' and then hold a small, reverent ceremony for 'him' when we had to cut the unruly mass out with a pair of scissors?) she graduated with honors, at the top of her class and received a pin and a letter from President Barack Obama. This caused a bit of a conflict in our household - Kira also received one when she graduated from elementary school two years ago, but hers was signed by then-president George W Bush, a fact she wasn't happy about. As you can imagine Kiyomi wasted no time in pointing out how hers was signed by the 'better' president. And who can argue with that? Also, If you'll remember, Kiyomi has a beef with Dubya that goes way back and she didn't mince words in this letter she wrote him in second grade:

Dear George bush,

Hello! I am Kiyomi and my favorite color is magenta. Here is a sugjestun (sic) for you: Go to another country! Don't you say no to that sugjestun!

Now that I told you that, I will tell you more about me. I have a nice teacher I mean terrific teacher. I love art and manga. Now that I told you some stuff about me you can go along and ruin some other state.

your destroyer,
Kiyomi

Congratulations Kiyomi! We love you to pieces. Now, go change the world.

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This is what I did last month, besides fill out forms

Last month is a blur, mainly because it seems like I spent the entire thirty days hunched over my desk, my writing hand turning into a cramped mass as I filled out form after form after form for things like summer camp, end of school activities and registration for Kiyomi to enter middle school. I would come to bed at night and Rigel would say, “What’s that smell?” and I would have to tell him it was a combination of ball point pen ink and cheap copier paper. To top it off, after delivering a packet of nineteen forms (I kid you not) to Kiyomi’s middle school I was informed a few days later that they had lost them. They finally did locate them after a couple of days, but only because I made a few hysterical phone calls to the main office and then showed up in person to show them my bloody hand that was still wrapped around my pen.

But more on that later - last month I also interviewed Kim Kardashian and Molly Sims for Genlux magazine! That was way more fun than filling out forms! Especially the part where Kim talked about O.J. Simpson, which was both fascinating and chilling. And Molly was fun, because she gave me the secret to her awesome hair and she didn't require me to fill out any tiny boxes with my name, address and emergency numbers. Luckily, by the time I had to type up the interviews I had regained most of the feeling in my right hand.

The issue is out on the newsstands and available at Barnes and Noble, but you can also see the photos and read the articles here and here.

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tags: kim kardashian | molly sims | genlux magazine

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