Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My Summer Camp: Bring a sponge

I spent a recent afternoon searching out new and exciting things for my girls to do this summer, something to supplement their music and drama camps. And the options for teens are endless – how are they going to choose between the LMAO Facebook Status Update workshop and the Cute Boy symposium? That's a full day right there.

So I decided to take a break and have some lunch, and this is what I found when I went to grab a plate from the cabinet:

This is what happens when you ask your daughters to unload the dishwasher, and they're in such a rush to watch Gossip Girl they forgot that the dishes can actually be lifted up and stacked properly

Which confirms my suspicion that this is the most useless toy ever invented and taught them absolutely nothing:
So then I started thinking that what my girls need this summer are not more expensive camps. Do they really need to learn the bass-line to Poker Face, or take a two-hundred dollar workshop where they learn how to act like a lemur or cry on cue? No, what they need are some good hard lessons in practical things, things that will maybe enable them to leave the house and live on their own sometime before they turn forty. 

What they need is Chore Camp.

I love my girls. They're smart, funny, respectful and talented. But they'll be the first to tell you that things like dish washing and cleaning are hardly activities they excel in. Not to scare anyone that comes to eat at our house, but please check your plate for dried chunks of food first. And I don't think they even know how to work the washing machine - I may have even heard one of them refer to it as 'The Big White Thing That Cleans Pants."

So I've decided to start my own camp with a curriculum that puts some serious time into honing their housekeeping abilities. They may not speak to me for the next five years, but I'm sure they'll thank me later. Here are a few courses I'm offering:

Dish Stacking: Large to Small, A Brilliant Concept

Dish Washing: No, There Is No China Pattern Called 'Dried Salsa'

Closet Management: Hangers Are Your Friend

Toilet Cleaning: Someone Has To Do It

Laundry 101: Your Leggings From Hot Topic Aren't Going To Wash Themselves

Hurry and sign up – I have a feeling they'll fill up fast.

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  1. Can I send mine to your camp?

  2. I run a year-round chore camp. My six year old is currently taking Remedial Dish Stacking for the third time.

  3. Julie - I need to borrow some of your techniques. Do you use Power Point? Puppets? Waterboarding? I'm open to whatever works.

  4. Donna - Yes, bring her over. I forgot to mention my camp includes a daily Happy Hour for the adults.

  5. I would be happy to teach
    "You begged for the Cat, Now learn to clean out the litter box"


    "How to locate item you are actually laying on top of in your bed"

    ( I actually had this conversation with Emily tonight, as she accused us of moving her water bottle...but she was laying on top of it)

  6. How about: "If the height of the trash is double the height of the actual trash can, then it's probably ready to dump."

  7. Do you take toddlers at your summer camp? Also, at what age do I let my fifteen month old start watching gossip girl?

  8. Can I send my husband to chore camp? He still can't stack dishes properly, and he's 51, not 15.

  9. Hilarious. I will sign my eight-year-old up for your camp. It may be a little early, but I want him to start earning his keep and so far he's having trouble with his very first chore (making his bed). Also, the "how to locate an item that is at this very moment four inches from your knee" is something he could use help with.


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