So then 'bathtubs' became shorthand for 'Old People Getting Too Close.' It could be kissing, or hugging or even a look shared over a cup of coffee, it didn't matter - behavior like that should only occur between young people with smooth, tight skin wearing skinny jeans and a hoodie.
If Kiyomi even so much as saw Rigel and I holding hands, she'd yell out, "Bathtubs!" as a signal that we'd better cut it out or take it out of her line of vision. Sometimes we'd freak her out by yelling the term ourselves right as we were heading out the door for a date night, or maybe as she was walking out of the room to go to bed, leaving us alone on the couch watching TV. Although I have to admit 'bathtubs' is a sexier codeword than our previous one, 'ElevenO'clockNews.'
Lately, for some reason 'bathtubs' is slowly becoming shorthand for anyone having sex, which has opened up the realm of possibilities. I like to use it as a warning for something that's coming up in a movie or show so that the girls have a chance to leave the room as in, "Now's a good time to go check your Facebook page, since there are some heavy bathtub scenes coming up." I'm wishing we had come up with the term a long time ago – it would have been nice if the question, "How are babies made?" could have been summed up in one word.
But the best part is it's given me ammo for the future for when the girls start dating. I can't wait for the day when I'm driving Kiyomi and her boyfriend to the movies, and as they're sitting there side by side in the back seat of the car I turn to look at them over my shoulder and say, "NO BATHTUBS."
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