Monday, January 15, 2007

Aging Like Fine Wine. Or Was It Old Cheese.

I had a birthday last week. It was pretty wonderful - a few girlfriends took me out to dinner the night before, and the night of my actual birthday me, Rigel the girls and two of our best friends went out for sushi. (Is that sentence grammatically correct? Because all the holes in my aged brain are impeding my language skills.) I got so many great gifts - beautiful handmade cards, a candle and soap from the girls, bouquets of flowers, a huge basket of cookies from my sister and this awesome gadget from Rigel, as well as birthday phone calls all day long from family and friends, not one of them mentioning how much slower my metabolism seemed or the extra flab on on my upper arms.

I don't really like getting older, so I'm not going to get all Lifetime Channel on you and enthuse about how each advancing year is getting me closer to the 'real me' or how I'm like a flower, a truly beautiful flower that's just about to bloom. Or how every new morning brings new insight or that old tired adage about age being just a number (said the 19-year-old.) And don't expect any lectures from me on how those young people in their twenties really don't know what they're missing or that load of crap about how I wouldn't trade my wisdom for my youth. Because show me the scientist that could give me back my porcelain skin and tight ass I will gladly FedEx him my frontal lobe wrapped in a pretty bow and packed in dry ice.

But I will tell you that getting older is a little easier with a husband like mine, one who let me sleep in on my birthday while he got the girls up, dressed and fed and took them to school and then, while I still slept and he was late for work, made me a big breakfast and left it for me in the warming drawer. Because this is a man who knows that the true path to my heart is not necessarily through romance and flowers but through a couple of over-easy eggs, a slice of wheat toast and two pieces of bacon.

And the best part? He had left little notes all around the house, everywhere from my favorite coffee mug to the inside of the refrigerator, that I was finding all day long. I told him how much I loved this and how I was so touched that after thirteen-and-a-half years of marriage he would think of something so sweet and romantic to do. He looked happy for a second but then got one of those looks on his face that guys get when you've used the word 'cute' to describe the engine in their new car, or when you make them carry your purse while you go to the bathroom and he said, "Let's not let this get around."

It was then that I realized that if I ever wanted a repeat performance of his sweet birthday gesture it would be wise to keep pretty tight-lipped about it. And if it ever got out to his friends, say through idle gossip or perhaps through someone's blog, I'd better not reveal the truth, that those notes were composed of birthday sentiments and heartfelt 'I Love You's', but instead I'll just tell everyone that they contained numerous requests for hot monkey sex.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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60 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday!

    I will refrain from noting what a sweetheart of a guy you married, in the interest of continued squishy notes.

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  2. Happy Bday! Ya know, they(the hubbies) never want anyone else to know the cute stuff that we want the whole world to know about them!!

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  3. Ahh, happy belated b-day! Who needs bling bling when you can sleep in and breakfast made!! And thoughts of "hot monkey sex" as well. Um, Um Um!!

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  4. Happy birthday. It sounds like a lovely day.

    If I ever tell my husband that anything he does is cute or sweet or adorable, he gives me a long familiar look and I instantly correct, "I mean incredibly sexy."

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  5. Heartfelt sentiments.....rquests for hot monkey sex.........hey, at my age, it is ALL good.

    Glad you had a wonderful birthday!!

    And a sidenote to SweatpantsPoppa....... GOOD GAME, man!! Good game!!

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  6. Wait, you have a warming drawer?! Lucky.

    Happy Birthday!

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  7. NorCal Sistah1/15/2007 7:08 PM

    Wow, we should have had a longer phone conversation so that I could have found this all out. First of all, congrats on the new camera -- very nice ... so glad that my purchase of the same camera helped your cause for a new one. Though I have to say that I will miss seeing your camera being held together by a yellow hair band -- it had a certain class about it. Being the sister to your husband I have to say ... thank god for mom or he would have never learned to do such sweet gestures (oh, and the comment about hot monkey sex ... too much information for the sister). Glad you had a great birthday!

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  8. Very Fun! I'm hoping the birthday ended with a grand finale of said 'hot monkey sex'!!!

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  9. Like tricia said! Only drop the monkey...

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  10. Happy Birthday! That's a great camera.

    And Rigel's secret is safe with me ;)

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  11. Happy Birthday, you sexy monkey...

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  12. you sexy monkey with bacon grease all over your chin. :)

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  13. If I were there, I would have presented you with a giant box of gift wrapped meat.

    Happy Birthday!

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  14. i'd take any notes left in various places from my hubby, even ones with sex requests.

    happy birthday!

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  15. Happy belated birthday sweatpantsmom! A man who makes you breakfast. I am in awe. Can you clone him?

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  16. Happy Birthday! You are truly blessed with that family of yours.

    Mmmm...BACON. That's a man worth keeping.

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  17. Happy belated birthday.

    You covered well. *high five*

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  18. The monkey sex notes sound like something mine would do. The I love you's? I'd be SHOCKED! And I want my ass back too. Where do you suppose they keep all our old asses anyway?

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  19. What a nice guy! What woman doesn't wish for romance like that?

    Happy Birthday.

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  20. Happy Birthday to you!

    I didn't see a thing, not a note, not a breakfast, not a dad getting girls ready for school...nope, not a thing! Lucky girl!

    Carrie

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  21. I can just see the look on his face because you described it very well. And because men are all the same. It sounds like the perfect day. Happy Birthday!

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  22. Happy birthday! I'm kind of bummed that you didn't get all Lifetime Channel...but I'll deal.

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  23. oooo, how I love birthdays! I love the little note idea...now I just need to figure out a way to oh so subtly get K to read this post because dang I want little notes too!

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  24. Happy Birthday, Kid!

    You've got a warming drawer? Oh, now I'm jealous.

    I'll drop you a note.

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  25. Why is it that a "warming drawer" sounds more like something involving the hot monkey sex than eggs over easy. Come to think of it, "eggs over easy" sounds too hot monkey sex-like, too.

    But, then I'm a guy. Just about anything reminds me of sex. But I'm gettin' older too and that too shall pass.

    Happy b-day!

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  26. Happy birthday!

    I know the look you speak of. I think the tactic you might want to use, or more precisely, the tactic HE wants you to use is to tell him that the notes made you hot for some nasty monkey sex....You will be sure to have notes left for you all the time.

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  27. Surfed in through B.E. - happy birthday! - hot monkey sex and warming drawers; life is good ;o)

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  28. i've never heard of a warming drawer, but now i must have one for the spontaneous making of birthday eggs that i will demand from now on.

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  29. Happy Birthday!

    How romantic of him to leave you those sweet - uh, I mean HOT notes.

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  30. that's my camera! you'll love it. you would think the hot monkey sex is what got my attention but actually i was more stunned by the presence of a warming drawer in your house. i'm jealous.

    i mean sweet i love you's and breakfast are nice -- but a warming drawer? that's forever.

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  31. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (It's in all caps because I'm shouting like I just jumped from behind the couch at your surprise party.) I'm sending you an invisible box of exotic jerky.

    Wow, Rigel is amazing. I'm happy when my own husband doesn't turn on his XBox for one night.

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  32. Happy Birthday! Here's to hot monkey sex and tight asses.

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  33. I have the same camera! Isn't it amazing? My favorite feature, by far, is the color isolation option.

    Glad you had such a happy birthday. You're, what, twenty-seven now?

    In any case, may the next year be your best yet, filled with lots of love, laughter, and good news. And eat a little extra for me at the next family party. I miss Grandma's cooking.

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  34. Of course, because that is what he really wanted anyway.

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  35. How cute is that?!
    I love hearing stories that remind me there are good men out there
    (I am married to one myself:) )

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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  36. Give me the name of that scientist, should you ever find him. He can have ALL of my lobes if he can fix my sagging ass.

    Happy Birthday SPM!

    -annie

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  37. Happy Birthday! I think the notes idea is incredibly creative!

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  38. Happy 25th birthday!! It is 25 right? If it's more I'm never ever coming back:-) Hope you had lots of hot monkey sex!

    AD

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  39. Happy Birthday! Rigel's so cute, I mean a hot sexy monkey man.

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  40. Happy Birthday, SPM! I'm glad it was so nice!

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  41. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

    27, right??

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  42. You have a warming drawer? And a husband who does amazingly nice things for you? You are a lucky, lucky lady!

    Happy birthday!!

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  43. and does he read this blog? cos if he does, i bet you'll have to make amends with loads and loads and loads of hot monkey sex ...

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  44. Happy Birthday! And what a sweet - I mean manly-man you have.

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  45. Oh I say quite the contrary. Let it get around. Let the news been known - he will have to try and match it next year! Haopy birthday, by the way.

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  46. Aaahh, nothing says I love you like a little cholesterol first thing in the morning. Lucky girl, you.

    Happy Birthday, Marsha!!!

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  47. Happy Super Belated Birthday!
    *with many apologies and bowing down at your feet*

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  48. Happy Birthday!!!

    If I got notes like that, that would be all the persent I would need!!

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  49. Happy birthday!!

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  50. I love your husband.

    HAPY LATE BIRTHDAY, my friend!

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  51. Happy Belated Birthday! Sounds like it was wonderful and your husband knew just what to do.

    Also, I love this sentence...

    Because show me the scientist that could give me back my porcelain skin and tight ass I will gladly FedEx him my frontal lobe wrapped in a pretty bow and packed in dry ice.

    HA!

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  52. and let's face it--nothing says I stil dig your sagging ass on this your____birthday than Hot Monkey Sex

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  53. Listen, is there ANY chance that I can hire your husband? Mine needs little talking to here in Marrakesh:-)

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  54. happy birthday and happy hot monkey sex!

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  55. I am blog surfing to find mothers to contribute to a new e-magazine that I am developing called Mother to Mother. Go to http://www.motheroftwosguide.com/contribute.shtml for details. We are always looking for new articles, photos, product testers, etc.

    Your pictures are beautiful and happy belated birthday!

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  56. Happy Post Bday. I suppose I have to categorize my comments to the appropriate blog spots. Uggh. So much more to say, but I have to jump to the other "comments" section. Cheese N' Rice!

    Missed your blog. Strange what two kids, working for yourself and husband does to your schedule? Well enough about me. Did I mention Happy Post-Bday? haahahhaha

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  57. WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE??? DO I HAVE TO COME OVER AND BEAT YOU WITH SOME OVER-COOKED PASTA??? 'CAUSE GIRL, THAT AIN'T GONNA BE PRETTY...DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO GET ALL UP IN YOUR FACE WITH SOME CAPELLINI!!!

    Hope that you're okay. :)

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  58. Happy Belated Birthday!! Sorry I missed wishing you well sooner, but it sounds like you had a lovely day. :-)

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